Intriguing Reading #80

Posted on | May 16, 2014 | No Comments

My semi-regular roundup of interesting reads, found from all over the place.

Content Notes: Disability; Grief

Know Me Where It Hurts: Sex, Kink, and Cerebral Palsy: “Old Pain I’m used to: the tightness in my hips when I don’t stretch in the morning, the pressure where my legs meet my back when I walk too far. It’s not that I don’t feel it; it’s just been there for so long that I know not to get nervous about it anymore. New Pain is where it gets scary because it stops having a name. I can’t immediately catalog it or diagnose it as benign. At best, disability allows you to create a tenuous peace with your body, and anytime it decides to violate that mutual agreement can be terrifying. You take the time to figure it out — what it likes and dislikes, where it functions best — and stick to that routine, until New Pain reminds you that you’re never quite going to have this figured out.” (Carrie / AutoStraddle)

Generation XXX: Why we’re afraid of internet porn: “When it comes to anyone or any body attempting to restrict our rights, Walden says the burden of proof always lies with those trying to restrict content, “not on those trying to exercise our rights”.” (Liat Clark / Wired.co.uk)

Women Who Have Rough Sex: Why It Can Be Liberating: “Of course, rough sex isn’t for everyone, but that doesn’t mean it should be taken off the table entirely or derided. Nothing is for everyone, after all, not even sex itself (just ask an asexual person). “I’m not always in the mood for it,” Kate attests. “And I would never be comfortable getting thrown around if it wasn’t my idea. I would certainly never advise someone to have rough sex if it didn’t genuinely turn them on. But I’m all for respecting an adult’s agency.”” (Anna Pulley / AlterNet)

Rituals, or, Why Poaching Elephants is so Awful: “Of even greater interest to the living elephant are the ivory tusks of their fallen bretheren, which are visible throughout the elephant’s life and perhaps recognizable after death. As they say, an elephant never forgets. Herds will even steal body parts or bones that poachers, tribesmen, or scientists have moved and return them to the place where the elephant died or bury them. Any way you look at it, they have some connection and relationship to the remains and bones of the deceased. To elephants, remains are, in a word, sacred. Elephants may not process religion or ritual in the exact way that humanity has come to define them, but there is nevertheless importance in the dead.” (Caitlin Doughty)

Pain: “But it’s not just pain I’m after. It’s what that pain comes with. It’s the dopamine surge, it’s the exquisite ability to come out of my own head, it’s the connection to another person and the way we have to open up to each other. Pain is a route to this, and to the bruises (which I love).” (Switch Studies)

bondage, suspension, smiling, heathawk

JackPotMatt and Honey, photographed by HeatHawk

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Take the Chance

Posted on | May 7, 2014 | 7 Comments

There was once a chance
that I didn’t take:
Opportunity lost,
Fun foolishly forsake.

How did did I not know
that self-touch was bliss?
Reliant on others
for caress and kiss?

It was six years between
first fuck and first wank
Then I touched myself
and found it turned my crank!

I used all my fingers
I teased my sweet clit
I used dildos and vibes
and lube, a li’l bit.

I masturbated, found orgasm:
Opportunity found.
It took a few years,
But now my sex life’s fully round!

image

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Kali Biting Down

Posted on | May 4, 2014 | 12 Comments

I like to hurt Hylas. Which was a bit of a scary thing both for me to discover, and to admit – after all, I’m generally the one who likes to be hurt! But playing with my Pet, who is a self-confessed ‘sick puppy’, discovering all sorts of things that turn him on even as he dislikes the pain (and that turns me on hard?). Yeah. I don’t know if I’m in top-space, exactly. But I’m definitely getting my rocks off, and really enjoying hurting him in the bargain.

CBT is something we’ve been slowly exploring for a while now, and one of our favourite toys is this:

CBT sharp

That’s a close up of Kali’s Teeth (if you click-through you’ll see it complete, along with all the bits and pieces).  Designed to sit around the base of the cock and lock in place, the screws are adjustable and removeable – and as you can see, there are blunt heads and sharp heads!

We started with all blunts. For the last few times we’ve played, though? Those sharp heads have come out, just in the centre row. And they are fun.

Tightening them; loosening them off; teasing him with with contrast, sucking his cock for variation. Smacking the metal so they briefly press in harder. Telling him (as he’s unable to see) just how many people are watching him – and, indeed, we played with this at the Marquis de Sade party last year, with his head in a box – and people were watching as his cock hardened and leaked.

CBT sharp Hylas cock

In place, the teeth look like this – pressing in as tight as I’ve turned the screws, the pressure of his own cock pushing him down upon the lower ones (standing, I’ve learned, leads to a different result than lying down). Those sharp points teasing him until he’s pushed to safeword, either by pre-arranged gesture (as he can’t speak with his head in a box) or by calling ‘red’.

Because I want him to safeword when I’m using this. I want to hurt him. It turns me on. It gets me off.

It gets him off too – click through that image and see the hardness, the pre-cum leaking. Know that he orgasmed extremely hard a little later on, spurting almost up to his nipples.

Yeah. My Pet isn’t the only sick puppy. I came hard, too.

**

We have other CBT toys as well. One day I may even get around to sharing photos of them :)

Sinful Sunday

 

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Sticky and Slippery and Covered in Come

Posted on | April 28, 2014 | No Comments

I’m a wanton, greedy, messy slut. Delightedly so! And while Apollo may not have known that the day we met, he certainly did just a few days later, once I’d thoroughly seduced him. It’s one of my charm points, you know. Me? Slutty. He’s fine with that. It works well for us.

Being as I am, and being polyamorous, I also share my wantonness around – another thing Apollo knew when we met (seducing a wonderful woman from Wellington the day after we met and the day before I took him home? Yeah, that might have given that away …).  But! I do keep one thing – one single solitary thing out of my great big bag of fun-sexy-stuff-to-play-with – just for him. Yes, there is one thing I do with my husband that I don’t do with any other partner – one thing that I am really happy to keep just for us.

It’s a little thing, but it’s a special thing. What is it? Is it shocking? Am I embarrassed? No.   So what am I talking about? It might not seem like much to you. It’s only special in context. But that context matters, you see.

Apollo is the only person with whom I have penetrative (vaginal) sex without a condom.  And it’s glorious!

I’ve always appreciated the wonderfulness of this – especially as there’s semi-regular fucking with other cock-wearing people. And while I find the putting on of a condom to be a remarkably sexy act (that’s a different post to be written), the sensation of fucking without one, of feeling the slide of muscles and skin and lubricant and ejaculate, to be amazingly intimate and hot and, well, orgasmic. But not something to be done lightly.

I have a renewed appreciation of Apollo’s cock, in my cunt. And a renewed appreciation of his juices, too. Because in between having my Mirena IUD removed a few years back, and having my Essure sterilisation (finally!) done, I was without any form of hormonal birth control in an attempt to minimise my migraines. And that meant – alas – we had to use condoms together as well.  And that was okay … but it made me sad that the one thing we had together, we were unable to do for a time.

But now we have it back, and it is back with a vengeance! So there is fucking. And there is more fucking. And there is fucking with masses of lube. And fucking with me riding him like a slow, teasing nymph. Fucking with him biting my shoulders as he rolls his hips and slides deeper. And the orgasms. My juices seeping around his plunging. Gushing over his testes. Trickling down his thighs. And him offering me, as always, my choice. Do I want him to come inside my cunt? Or elsewhere?

This morning I asked for the thing I have really, really missed. I have dreamed of this. Wanked thinking of this.

So he slowly pulled himself out of my dripping cunt and knelt upright between my knees. He jacked his delectably slippery cock with one hand and he held my labia open with the other. And then, groaning, he spurted all over my cunt lips.

Hot. Slippery. Heavenly!

And only ours.

Originally posted December 2011.

 

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e[lust] #57

Posted on | April 22, 2014 | No Comments

Elust #57 Cammies on the Floor Image
Photo courtesy of Cammies on the Floor

Welcome to Elust #57 -

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #58? Start with the rules, come back May 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

I’ve Got 99 Problems

Vasectomy Blues

I’ve always wanted to call myself queer.

~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

Aoyama Yuki and My Very First Times

I don’t know how to be happy

~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

Close Enough

Read more

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Shady Assets

Posted on | April 20, 2014 | 14 Comments

In which Katie and Dee flash their stuff!

So there are all these gazebos at Cornwall Park – they’re very popular, naturally, as they’re shady spots and you don’t have to worry about getting a damp bum on the ground, or sitting on roots. But we were determined to find one that wasn’t already occupied, because damn, we wanted to get a photo at one. How often do you find a gazebo?

We passed a barbequeing party of, well, large. Another family group was at the next – so busy for a Tuesday afternoon! – and so we trooped over to the next one we saw in the distance. Then we spotted a third one. Glory of glories – it was empty! (Possibly because it was right next to the carpark, and hence not as park-like.)

We didn’t care. It was a gazebo! Cars passing nearby? That’s what we were on lookout for as we sat ourselves down. Construction workers behind us? Katie’s hubby could keep an eye on them…

curvaceousdee modestyablaze cornwallpark exhibitionism

True to myself, I flung my top off. Because hey, that’s me. Katie, on the other hand, needed some encouragement to undo her buttons…

curvaceousdee modestyablaze cornwallpark exhibitionism

But she quickly got into the spirit of things! That modesty of hers really was completely ablaze :)

(The word ‘gazebo’ always makes me think of this amazing piece by The Vestibules. Listen/watch and you’ll see why!)

**

Check out Katie’s photos of the gazebo here!

Sinful Sunday

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Intriguing Reading #79

Posted on | April 15, 2014 | 2 Comments

My semi-regular roundup of interesting reads, found from all over the place.

Content Notes: Sexual Assault; Depression

The Worst Way a Man Can Dress (Is Like a Woman): ” While fashion-forward types are coming around to the idea of a man wearing a skirt, it’s generally accepted only if it’s styled in a way that is appropriately masculine: with biker boots, sewn in traditional Scottish plaids, if it maintains a “straight” silhouette (as opposed to A-line), or if it echoes ancient (or folkloric) menswear.” (Male Pattern Boldness)

Why Don’t Cops Believe Rape Victims?: “In the past decade, neurobiology has evolved to explain why victims respond in ways that make it seem like they could be lying, even when they’re not. Using imaging technology, scientists can identify which parts of the brain are activated when a person contemplates a traumatic memory such as sexual assault. The brain’s prefrontal cortex—which is key to decision-making and memory—often becomes temporarily impaired. The amygdala, known to encode emotional experiences, begins to dominate, triggering the release of stress hormones and helping to record particular fragments of sensory information. Victims can also experience tonic immobility—a sensation of being frozen in place—or a dissociative state. ” (Rebecca Ruiz / Slate)

How PayPal & WePay Discriminate Against The Adult Industry: “That’s when I got an email from Patreon, saying that the payment processor PayPal had threatened to shut down all integration with their site because it contained “adult content.” …  Patreon emailed all of our patrons to warn them and suggested we also email them to ensure payments went through as usual at the beginning of April. While Patreon was open to artists creating work that was adult in nature, their hands were tied. And not in a kinky way.” (Kitty Stryker / The Frisky)

Bad Sex: “For bad sex doesn’t just lead us to manual distraction; it also leads us to wonder if it’s us. It takes two to tangle, and sometimes you begin to wonder if the problem is not he, not she, but me. An unrelenting diet of bad sex—and even not flat-out see-you-in-the-funny-pages bad, but just sex that’s lame—is a soul killer. It will leave you in a sexistential crisis.” (Chelsea Summers / Adult Mag)

Miles and Miles of No-Man’s Land: “If depression were as physically evident as, say, a broken limb or cancer, it would be easier to talk about. The pain could be marked, quantified, obvious to the observer. You would feel justified in saying, “I’m sorry that I haven’t returned your email but you can see the huge hole in the center of me, and I’m afraid it has made such dialogue impossible.” But the stigma of depression is that it comes with the sense that you shouldn’t have it to begin with. That it is self-indulgence or emotional incompetence rather than actual illness. This brings on attendant feelings of shame and self-loathing, which only exacerbate the pain, isolation, and hopelessness of the condition.” (Libba Bray)

Into the Woods: “That Google search was possibly the most important one I’ve ever made. Definitely more important than “How much cheese can a human consume?” or “Best cat Vine compilation videos”. (Though that one CAN provide lots of entertainment.)” (Samantha Fraser)

International HIV/AIDS Alliance

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Conversations With My Owner

Posted on | April 7, 2014 | 6 Comments

Need versus Want

Dee on IM: growls happily 
I am so fucking horny and ready to come.
bites lip

Tethys on IM: Do you need to come?

Dee: I can wait, m’Lady.
The pulsations are distracting.

Tethys: Unless you need to come, i forbid you from coming. And even then, you can’t expect my permission.

Dee: nods I understand, m’Lady.
I adore being aroused by you.
I have, however, a suspicion that if I flow with that and orgasm as I wish, I will be punished.

Tethys: So what do you need more?

Dee: I need you more than I need to come without permission.

Tethys: A satisfactory answer. :-)

Dee: smiles Thank you, m’Lady.

The Unexpected

Dee on IM: May I have permission to masturbate to orgasm tonight?

Tethys on IM: You may not masturbate to orgasm.
You may masturbate to four orgasms, no less. :-)

Dee: Yes, m’Lady. Thank you.

Tethys: Message me when you’ve done so.

Dee: I shall, my owner. I will text you, and tell you what I was fantasising about when I came. Thank you so much!

No Intention

Tethys on IM: I require you to slap your cunt five times for me. Right now.

Dee on IM: catches breath And now I am absolutely dripping. Thank you, m’Lady.

Tethys: i am glad my fucktoy responded as i’d hoped!
Would you like an orgasm?

Dee: Oh, yes please, m’Lady! Your slutty fucktoy would like that very much indeed!

Tethys: How much do you need one?

Dee: ponders Right now I want one very much. I don’t need one.
And I really wish I didn’t have to admit that.

Tethys: i am proud of you, my property!

Dee: May I touch myself though, please, m’Lady?

Tethys: Because, in fact, i have no intention of allowing you to orgasm tonight. Or indeed tomorrow.

Dee: whimpers

Tethys: You may touch yourself however you wish.

Dee: Thank you, m’Lady.
I do enjoy being able to touch myself.

Tethys: i enjoy knowing that you’re touching yourself.

Dee: The torment of doing so, without release, knowing it pleases you, pleases me.

Tethys: nods in satisfaction

Dee: is drenched

curvaceousdee dildo chrome masturbation

Orders in Public

Dee on phone: Am at a bbq lunch with kinky friends right now – it’s great to see friends I haven’t caught up with in a while. Love you m’Lady xxx

Tethys on phone: Oh? Well: come!

Dee: *shudders and bites lip* Thank you m’Lady! That was lovely.

Tethys: My pleasure, my fucktoy.

Time is Relative

Tethys on voice/video: As you begged so well, i’m thinking about letting you come.
But if i do so, you must come until i tell you to stop.
Can you do that, my fuckcow?

Dee on voice/video: I…I think so. I want to. I will do my absolute best, my owner.
I really want to come. I need to come.
So yes.
Yes.

Tethys: Are you sure?

Dee: Yes. Please. Please, m’Lady, please can I come for you?
Please, can I come for as long as you order?

[long pause]

Tethys:  Come!
Keep going.
You can do it.
Keep going.
You may stop now, my slut.

[another long pause]

Dee: Thank you, my owner. Ow! I ache everywhere.
How long was that?

Tethys: One minute 10 seconds.

Dee: Wow.
My head, stomach, cunt all ache.
Totally worth it!

curvaceousdee dildo chrome masturbation

**

I was also ordered to orgasm during the putting-together of the blog post. Unsurprisingly!

Kink of the Week

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Heated Spaces

Posted on | April 6, 2014 | 20 Comments

A winter’s day.

Good company.

A hot fire, and no clothes…

curvaceousdee bush nude

(click for hi-res)

Photograph taken by Amie Wee; edited and composed by me for the Triptych competition.

**

Other pics taken on this occasion can be seen in these two posts: Winter Warmth and Toasty Warm

Sinful Sunday

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Heft and Pressure

Posted on | March 31, 2014 | 10 Comments

I love my penetrative toys. While I don’t always have a desire to be penetrated (and my clit gets a lot of attention when I wank) when I feel the need to be filled, vibration rarely enters into what I desire: for me it’s about the shape of the dildo, the solidity of the object, its girth and its length. I retain a focus on the material it’s made of and how it interacts with my labial lips, my vulva, and my slippery interior; the heft in my palm and weight in my belly; and the pressure I can use with it against various interior delicious spots. Mmm. Just writing about it makes me grin!

I love my dildos, and I have quite a lot of them. Slim and long, squat, fat, immensely wide. Silicone, glass, metal. Smooth, knobbly. With handles and without. Some, yes, that have vibratory options – although most of the time I don’t bother. For me, generally, vibrations are most appreciated on my clitoral nub.

Over the years I’ve had my share of appalling jelly, ‘real-feel’ material, and hard plastic from when I was starting out, and moved onto materials better both for my body and for my wanking as I grew more discerning. I’ve both purchased and been given a variety which I’ve reviewed. And there are plenty I never got around to writing up, but are seen in various posts.

And there are the ones I go back to again and again: the favourites.

There’s the chrome dildo shaped like a penis, with just a hint of scrotum to press up against my clit if I angle it just right, and a ringed handle I use so I can work the head of the toy against my g-spot.

dildo bush curvaceousdee

There’s the silicone Sire dildo, the largest I could find to purchase in New Zealand (made by D.VICE), which spreads my labia wide and provides a delicious stretch. I often sit up when using this and slide myself up and down, using the arms of a chair to lift and lower myself.

There’s the pyrex not-really-a-dildo at all, which once upon a time used to be a part of a telephone line insulator (an antique found in a second-hand store and well-sterilised) - it’s heavy and solid, with ridges and circles. Looking like an art-piece, it challenges me and leaves me panting with desire.

curvaceous dee cleavage pyrex

And then there’s the silicone Mr Universe, purchased from overseas, which requires time and a warm-up with the Sire, and a lot of lubrication. When I’m fucking myself with this, I know it: and I’m both wide open and completely full – an experience I’ve never felt with anything else.

curvaceous dee mr universe buried

Those are my current favourites – all very different, and utterly astonishing.

A few posts I’ve written that include dildos:

 

**

 What’s your favourite dildo?

Kink of the Week

 

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