I Seek You

Since I first got my own computer – shortly after moving out of home at nineteen – I’ve chatted online. From the early days using ICQ, through to MSN and Google Chat, I remain a nearly daily chatter, currently making use of Pidgin (PC), Xabber (Android) and various XMPP accounts.

When I first started to use chat I learned very swiftly what my comfort limits were. I liked talking with with friends – not strangers randomly bothering me, or the occasional bot. Hence I’ve always set things up so a request needs to be accepted first, and then we’re off

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Conversations With My Owner

Need versus Want

Dee on IM: growls happily 

I am so fucking horny and ready to come.

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Garden of Delights

Today is day four of the Seven Wonderful Sins celebration, and the focus today is on ENVY – but with a twist to keep it fun!

Envy is something I generally don’t perceive as wonderful. While I rarely feel jealous, I do occasionally have pangs of envy: wanting to have what they have (without taking it away from them). Which isn’t the greatest feeling in the world. What I am, though, is upfront with myself about how I am feeling and what I’m going to do about it. Intrapersonal communication is just as important as the interpersonal

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Dog Days

Am I still me when you can’t see my expressions? Sometimes I wonder …

When I first met Hylas I had some internal challenges over his desire to wear hoods. He expresses so little verbally during our sexual interactions that I initially relied heavily on his expressions and his non-verbal responses, and by taking away his facial reactions, I was limited even more.  A part of me also found the unmoving blankness of gas masks, zentai, and heavy rubber hoods disturbing to look at.

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Cyber Relating

A combination post – italics by me, non-italics by Tethys. Enjoy (and, please, comment)!

i find it odd that many people feel that a long-distance relationship (LDR) is somehow not a ‘real’ relationship. Odd because my culture – Anglo-Australian – is not averse to the romantic myth of a couple separated by great distance but nevertheless maintaining their commitment to each other. It seems that when the medium is not the handwritten letter but the Internet, a relationship is not deeply romantic but, at best, shallow and superficial.

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Apology

So here’s something I’ve never done before – I removed yesterday’s post.

While my post to Amie was meant in jest (and taken that way by her, she assures me), it left her feeling like I was calling her a tease. It also angered her partner, who told me so quite clearly this morning. All of which, in turn, has upset the hell out of me – I never meant for it to be read as mean or humiliating.

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Unimpressive

So I’m on a few dating sites. Isn’t everyone? And, as tends to happen, there are messages and messages and messages – some interesting, most not. And occasionally there will be one that makes me sit up and take notice.

However.

When you’re on a dating site and looking to make an good impression? Here’s how not to do it:

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Staunching The Wound

I like words. I like them a whole lot – whether they’re spoken or written, they hold a deep appeal to me. I like to to read, to write, to talk and to listen. To learn from the knowledge words impart. For me, words are intense, powerful, strong and moving.

But when it comes to believing someone? When it comes to truth or lies? Then, it’s more than words, because words – no matter how intense and powerful – are only a part of the story. When it comes to truth, lies, perceptions and beliefs, then actions must be counted.  And when the two don’t match up? Then I’m far more likely to place stock in actions, and what those actions say.

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Too Much

I’ve got a dozen posts knocking about in my head and in draft, but I can’t seem to get any of them finished. Which is likely because this post needs to be done first – and I don’t want to write it. I think it has to be done, though.

I’ve broken up with people before. And I’ve been broken up with before. In all those instances, though, at least one party (if not both) was at the point when they needed to move on. Where their feelings had changed. Where what was ‘in love’ – or at least ‘love’ – had altered to the point where the relationship was no longer feasible.

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From the Heart

A word from the heart goes straight to the heart. – Abbé Huvelin

Words hold a lot of meaning for me. I’ve always been strongly impacted by the words people choose to use when talking to me, describing me, or denigrating me. Not for me the easy ability to shrug off phrases I dislike – instead they can pierce me deeply.

But at the same time, compliments and positive feedback settle warmly in my chest, and I need them frequently. I get a lot of happiness from receiving positive feedback (recognition of my actions is something I need from all my relationships, be they lovers, employers, family or friends). And over time there are phrases which particular people have come to use with me often, in the form of a ritualised compliment, or nickname, or recognition.

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