Notes From a Small Cottage
These paragraphs are taken from my paper journal, written over the eight days Apollo and I were on honeymoon in May 2006. They seem to sum up our experience as a whole.
21 May
I’m sitting here with a glass of Chilean Gewürztraminer (given us by Robin, our celebrant), feeling the slight chafe of my ring as I write. There is no sound except my pen, Apollo’s pen, and the occasional startling crackle from the fireplace.
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Every Day, Adoring
Today is a very, very special day. Today is 10 years, to the day, since Apollo and I mutually seduced each other after just a few days of convention flirtation – and that seduction, while never intended to be more than a little fun, turned out to be the start of a very satisfying and marvellous relationship indeed! To celebrate our sexaversary we are whisking ourselves away for three rampant nights in a saucy cottage, because why not?
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Seriously Proud Queer
For a long time I was uncomfortable with the term ‘queer’ – at least when it came to applying it to myself. Despite knowing that many people regard it as an umbrella term for those of diverse sexual orientations and gender identities, it didn’t feel like it was a label that was right for me.
I’m quite particular about my labels. I really like to have them, with the proviso that I have chosen them myself – and I write them on removable stickers, in pencil! So sure, I’ve plastered myself with pansexual and polyamorous – either of which is enough for various friends to tell me that the label suited me. But I needed to work it through for myself, to see if it was a term I could come to terms with, reconcile to my sense of identity.
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Property Renewal
It’s one year today since m’Lady and I first signed my Title Deed – and I am very pleased to say that we’ve updated and signed a new Title Deed for 2013! As we head into the third year of our relationship, and the second as an explicitly stated owner/property relationship, it’s safe to say that we’re still travelling along a challenging, interesting, and really amazing long-distance journey.
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Garden of Delights
Today is day four of the Seven Wonderful Sins celebration, and the focus today is on ENVY - but with a twist to keep it fun!
Envy is something I generally don’t perceive as wonderful. While I rarely feel jealous, I do occasionally have pangs of envy: wanting to have what they have (without taking it away from them). Which isn’t the greatest feeling in the world. What I am, though, is upfront with myself about how I am feeling and what I’m going to do about it. Intrapersonal communication is just as important as the interpersonal
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Dog Days
Am I still me when you can’t see my expressions? Sometimes I wonder …
When I first met Hylas I had some internal challenges over his desire to wear hoods. He expresses so little verbally during our sexual interactions that I initially relied heavily on his expressions and his non-verbal responses, and by taking away his facial reactions, I was limited even more. A part of me also found the unmoving blankness of gas masks, zentai, and heavy rubber hoods disturbing to look at.
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Keeping Up Energy Levels
If you’re going to be having intense, epic, multiple-times-daily sex sessions with a lover you haven’t seen in nine months then remembering to both eat and keep up fluid levels is somewhat vital! To that end, m’Lady and I were at least someone organised. Zie purchased some powdered electrolytes for me before I arrived, and we also made sure that all the ingredients were in place for me to cook on at least one occasion.
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Wicked Tongues
I love cunnilingus. I love having the opportunity for my lips and tongue and chin and nose to discover the secrets of another; and I love to have my legs spread, my cunt open and welcoming of anothers’ teasing face.
There are so many different ways that a mouth can connect themselves with my cunt. And so many partners, each with their own way of connecting with me.
There’s the gentle approach: insidious, determined lapping which erodes my defences. Long and lascivious licks from my perineum, across the labia and up to the clit, then circling and stroking and nuzzling. Continual contact, laving and stroking until a tidal wave gushes forth and drenches their face. This approach can go for hours, and the waves keep on coming until we are nothing but a tiny figures in a large, damp, lake.
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Great big heart
My heart is not small – my emotional heart, that is. My pillow one is pretty big too (although technically that one belongs to Hylas!). My big heart is full of opens doors; it’s bruised and scarred; and it has lots of space. Its walls are flexible and expand easily to fit more people in.
And I like my heart that way – it’s my design, and my choice. But some hearts are static. Some hearts are just one room filled with just one person. Some hearts only have one door, with one key latch – but no one has the key. And some hearts are so scarred they don’t open any more. Sure, my heart is damaged – as all hearts are in some way – but damage is part of living and loving. I prefer to take the chance.
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Property Values
When I posted my recently about my Title Deed, and my Owner/property relationship with Tethys, the lovely Amie Wee was a tad perplexed. Nothing wrong with that – if you’d told me eighteen months ago that I’d choose to be owned by someone, I’d have scoffed!
So she asked me some really good questions, and I thought I’d devote a post to answering them. I hope they will prove interesting to you, dear readers. Italics are by Amie.
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