Conversations With My Owner

Need versus Want

Dee on IM: growls happily 

I am so fucking horny and ready to come.

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Heft and Pressure

I love my penetrative toys. While I don’t always have a desire to be penetrated (and my clit gets a lot of attention when I wank) when I feel the need to be filled, vibration rarely enters into what I desire: for me it’s about the shape of the dildo, the solidity of the object, its girth and its length. I retain a focus on the material it’s made of and how it interacts with my labial lips, my vulva, and my slippery interior; the heft in my palm and weight in my belly; and the pressure I can use with it against various interior delicious spots. Mmm. Just writing about it makes me grin!

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Placed Around My Neck

Two years ago today, m’Lady placed a collar around my neck. This meant something very special to us both, but we didn’t make a big deal out of it – there was no celebration, no ceremony, no party (there was a lot of fucking, though!). Instead, beforehand we’d talked extensively about whether a D/s dynamic, specifically ownership, was something we both wanted. Before my visit to see eir I’d also arranged to have the collar custom-made by my friend Kiana, and we’d discussed the type of leather to be used, the shape and style, size and width of it.

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Beat My Feet, Please!

Here’s how it is with my feet: I hate having them tickled. I really don’t like having needles stuck in them – whether it’s for acupuncture or for kink. Like many people, I find that having them rubbed is blissful. And I happen to think that having them beaten, smacked, flogged and cropped – especially if it’s heavy, thuddy and hard – is about the best damned thing ever.

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Having a Perve

I do enjoy watching others who are receiving sexual pleasure – but (and this is a big but) I only enjoy it if I know that the people I’m looking at are consenting to being viewed. That goes for people on film and for people in front of me. The type of porn that relies on hidden cameras? Really not my thing. Getting off hiding in closets? No thank you. Peering from the bushes to see someone doing it? Nope nope nope. If I’m going to perve, I’m going to be obvious and appreciative. Sure, I can be quiet – no need to spoil their moment. But there’s no shame in being the watcher either, and I’m going to revel in it.

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Gagging For It

I don’t often use gags in my sexual play – for the most part I prefer to have my mouth available. But I do like having them as an option, especially during kink sessions. I know how remarkably loud I can be when I get going, and they’re good for at least muffling me a little bit!

Over the years I’ve purchased a variety of different gags, but some of my favourites have remained the simplest: a hand; bondage tape; rope. And I never, never get tired of gagging on fingers or cock…

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Oral Specialist

Last night (or rather, early this morning) as my mouth was hot on Apollo’s very hard cock, I wasn’t considering this post at all. I was focused entirely on sensations: the tang of precome as it seeped onto my tastebuds; the slight vacuum in my cheeks as I sucked upwards; the slight ripple of his stomach muscles every time I flicked my tongue just like that.

Fellatio, indeed, any kind of oral pleasuring, isn’t something I regard as an inherently submissive act – even though, for many of my relationships, I’m in a power exchange dynamic where I am the submissive. What it is, rather, is something that I adore doing, and often tips over into outright worship. Worship of genitalia; worship of my partner; worship of the act itself.

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Slapping My Face

Only one person ever slaps my face. Or rather – only one person has ever slapped my face, more than once, with my full consent given and with a whole lot of pleasure gained for both of us!

These days, m’Lady slaps my face whenever ey feels like doing so. That can be in person; using my hand as proxy; or virtually over chat or text.

These days, I have permission – nay, orders – to orgasm each and every time my face is slapped by m’Lady (in person, by proxy, virtually). And I do. The most recent time was only a few hours ago.

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Hooded Fun

These days I’m a pretty big fan of hoods, and that’s something that’s changed for the better almost entirely due to my relationship with Hylas. I’m glad for it, because it adds a huge amount to the repertoire of potential play! But a hood on someone I don’t know well? That is still a challenge for me. I need a lot of communication, especially during sexual and/or kink encounters – and a hood takes facial expression away. So if it’s someone with whom I’m still learning to connect with, losing that avenue can make it very difficult for me unless they’re able to increase their verbal interactions to compensate – something that’s not always easy to do in a play headspace.

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Exhibiting the Self

For me being naked isn’t just about showing myself off for other people. It’s about being comfortable in my head, in my emotions, and in my skin.

I am very happy to be unclothed both indoors and out, by myself and with other people. But I do really enjoy the frisson of exhibitionism: of getting my kit off in places where folks could potentially see me – as well as at events where it’s accepted and welcomed. Part of the reason why the Scavenger Hunt appealed so much to me when it was introduced was because I really adore pushing those location limits!

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