Eggceptional Easter Eggstacy
It’s a special time of year
when the Easter Bunny comes
with eggs all in a basket
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A.A. Milne and labia torture
What does one have to do with the other? Well, when I was eight I memorised a poem for a class competition (and I won a book – I have always loved owning my own books, so it was a good incentive). The poem was an A.A. Milne one – and I memorised it well, so I’ve been able to recall it ever since.
Which is very handy if you’re being told to recite a poem whilst your inner labia are being pinched, pulled, squeezed, twisted, and otherwise tormented. A poem that you can remember – one that you can belt out the first verse of, albeit somewhat raggedly and with the occasional additional interjected swear word – is an extremely useful thing to have.
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Poems poems poems
It’s National Poetry Day here in New Zealand, so I entertained myself by taking poem requests from twitter readers. Here are the results!
Fisting
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A Bunch of Times
To the tune of The Proclaimers: 500 Miles
When I wake up, yes I know I’m going to be
I’m going to be the one who wakes up next to you.
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Weta love
This Friday poem won’t make a lot of sense until you’ve seen my twitter posts today, so here they are first:
Batteries
Yes, it’s the return of the silly Friday poem. Enjoy!
Batteries
Big and small and long and round
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Pervertable Things
Because I just can’t help myself …
Long wooden spoons and electric toothbrushes
Bright metal rulers and boots good for crushes
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Achy Achy Cunt
You can tell your mutt your girlfriend is a slut
You can use my dildos when I’m gone
Or you can tell your mates that I fucked on tape
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Three for me
Tie me up, tie me down, tie me up some more
Take a feather to my feet while I’m helpless on the floor
Laugh sadistic at me while I then attempt to flee
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Wank-a-lot
To start it wasn’t difficult
daily twiddling of my twat.
Increasing it to every day
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About Dee
Exhibitionist with words, skin and sex. Free with kisses, compliments, and friendship. Open with heart, passion, and laughter.
Labels I choose for myself: pansexual, polyamorous, fat, kinky, New Zealander, writer.
I write fortnightly for the LGBT publication Express magazine; and you can keep track of which lover is who by reading about them here.
If you want to get in touch, send me an email! curvaceous.dee@gmail.com.
Quality – That’s me!
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This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-Share Alike 3.0 New Zealand License.