Please?

Begging as a concept was not something that came easily to me. On occasion with kink partners in the past I had been aroused enough to ask for permission to orgasm, and that made sense to me as part of the scene. But the notion of begging simply to please m’Lady, asking over and over again – and being aware that doing so is absolutely no guarantee I would be permitted to come – perplexed me for quite some time.

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On the KissCast

At the very end of last year, I opened my email and was absolutely delighted to see a message from Molly (of Molly’s Daily Kiss) asking if she could interview me for her new podcast, the KissCast. Of course I said yes – how awesome was that?

So in early January we got together on Skype and talked enthusiastically about many things, the end result of which is this, the fourth episode of the KissCast. (I recommend the others as well – they’re great listening!) Molly was a wonderful host who asked great questions about all sorts of things. Between the laughter there may even have been some answers!

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Doing As I’m Told

It’s just one word, aimed at me like a bullet. “Come.”

I orgasm. Hard. Zero to one hundred in a few seconds.

Coming on command, as it’s known, is something I’ve been able to do for a quite a few years. Only with two partners, mind you – Adonis and m’Lady both made and make full use of the knowledge that hearing this order from them would send me over the edge. With the former it was a command often spoken when we were in a scene and I was well aroused, which is quite likely how I learned to do this: I was already turned on, and already wanting (if not needing) to come. Being ordered to do so gave me permission, and off I went like a rocket.

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Fucking and Being Fucked

With a groan I slowly unfolded myself and sprawled flat on on my front, mashing my udders into the bed. I had been on my elbows and knees for a long intense fuck: my hair pulled hard so I would rise up and tense my muscles; my cunt rutted in forcefully, followed by shallow teasing and then more deep plundering. I was feeling aches in all sorts of places – most of them very good.

I wanted to make the most of the break I’d begged to have, so I rolled over to one side, propped myself up on an elbow, and watched the continuation of play with interest. m’Lady called out: “Turn over, fuckpig, and take the same position. I’m not done.” The fuckpig’s face was shiny, showing where I had constantly dripped lubrication and ejaculatory juices onto her as I was fucked. I leaned in to nuzzle her ear and smell my umami aroma on her skin, my owner grasped her buttocks to open wide her holes for plundering. Earlier I’d had my tongue buried in the lovely arsehole now on show, and as I leaned back I could see that it still glistened damply. But that was not the hole m’Lady wanted – yet – and the fuckpig cried out as cock thrust hard into her cunt, and ey began the same forceful fucking I’d been receiving just a minute earlier.

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Tomorrow

Tomorrow is the day that I’ve been waiting for: it’s the day where I fly back over to Melbourne.

Tomorrow I will be back with m’Lady, my owner, for two whole weeks.

Tomorrow I will be on an aeroplane for four hours, wearing my knee-high boots, a short dress and no underwear. My tag will be shiny in my ear. My face will be bright with smiling anticipation. My aroma of arousal may possibly be noticeable, if you’re close enough.

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Conversations With My Owner

Need versus Want

Dee on IM: growls happily 

I am so fucking horny and ready to come.

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Slapping My Face

Only one person ever slaps my face. Or rather – only one person has ever slapped my face, more than once, with my full consent given and with a whole lot of pleasure gained for both of us!

These days, m’Lady slaps my face whenever ey feels like doing so. That can be in person; using my hand as proxy; or virtually over chat or text.

These days, I have permission – nay, orders – to orgasm each and every time my face is slapped by m’Lady (in person, by proxy, virtually). And I do. The most recent time was only a few hours ago.

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Sub in Space

My thoughts on sub-space have been percolating (my word for slowly evolving thoughts in the back of my head) for quite some time, but nothing crystallised until recently, when m’Lady shared a blog post from Submissive by Choice with me. Since then my notions of sub-space – how it is for me when I’m in it; how my experience is the same or different to other peoples; how, for me, sub-space is a definitely distinct experience than rope-space, small-space, fuck-space – have finally found form. It’s been difficult for me to find the words for an experience so amorphous, but having experienced it, for the most part, with three different long-term partners over the last eight years (Dionysos, Adonis, Tethys) I feel there’s enough history there for me to grope my way to a description, whether I’m entirely satisfied with how that description comes out or not.

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Why Do I Like Being Owned?

I never thought I’d want to be owned. When I first began exploring kink a little over a decade ago I was most comfortable bottoming, and thought of myself as a submissive when I used a label at all. Over time I discovered I enjoyed topping as well – although that primarily expresses itself with Hylas (and occasionally Ailuros). For the most part I found that my relationship energy is different with different people: that Apollo and I am quite comfortable without kink; for Hylas and I the Boss/pet dynamic is integral; and with Dionysos and Adonis I was inherently submissive to them.

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Watching Has its Own Rewards

I can see from watching that you know how to treasure your body: what works for you, how to touch yourself to bring responsiveness and pleasure.  You don’t place the focus solely on your cock – you also pay attention to the rest of your body, have learnt where your various special erogenous areas are.

As you masturbate – and as I watch and as you watch me watching – you are full of variety. Sometimes you remain for a time with one movement or action, then you change, varying speed or altering rhythm to keep things going.  You don’t use just the one hand (although you can), instead playing yourself with both. Placing your palms on each side of your cock to shift the skin up and down the shaft; moving your fingertips below to fondle your scrotum so very lightly; sliding the other hand up to scratch at your belly, cup your breasts, tease out a nipple. Slipping a finger into your mouth, then your anus. Groaning. Teasing yourself. Teasing me.

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