Fat Dee is Fat

Trollish backstory

Last week this blog saw its first ever troll (I have no idea what took them so long, really!). The reaction from readers was swift, hilarious, and awesome.

Here’s how it started – ‘Jesus’ commented with the following:

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Repeat: Fat and Sexy

Originally posted February 2006.

See those curves? Those are mine. I love them.

I love my breasts, which are large and heavy. Sometimes they become more gravid than usual, drooping down toward my torso – usually as my sex drive rises.

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Checked out

When did you last get an STI check? Have you ever had one?

I’ve been getting mine on an annual basis for the last seven or so years. Generally that meant taking the easy route and getting tested when I saw my gynaecologist for my yearly check-up.

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I forgot

I forgot so many things.

I forgot that to most people the word ‘cunt‘ is an insult, derogatory, and shocking. That they don’t hear it as a marvellous beautiful descriptor of female genitalia, or realise that I speak the word with love and reverence and respect.

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Ankle-tapped

When I think about my masturbation habits and what they physically involve, I tend to focus on a few things: my cunt; my mind; my fingers; my nipples. My eyes, for reading erotica or watching porn. My toes, because they curl so spectacularly when I come.

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Rebuttal

I really enjoy reading Luka‘s blog. Her sarcasm, doggerel, and fearlessness all amuse me, and we have great conversations together. Which is not to say that we always see eye-to-eye. In a recent post, Luka outlined why she will never be a sex blogger (all of which are fair and valid points, for her). But me? I love being a sex blogger. And here are some of the reasons why.

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Once upon a time HNT

It starts like all stories do: Once upon a time. And ends like all stories should: with a happy ending.

Once upon a time there was a young woman who started to gain weight. For the next decade, despite her efforts, her curves grew curvier and her flesh became fleshier. She would look, in despair, at pictures of herself at seventeen and at – she thought – her ‘ideal’ weight, and wondered what she was doing wrong, that she could not stay slim.

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Chill pleasure

I pull the glass dildo from it’s fur pouch, and a shiver goes through me as I feel the solid coldness of it. Smooth and rounded, weighted and clear, it holds all the chill of winter within itself.

Other than my questing hand, the rest of me is snuggled deep into flannelette sheets; the winter duvet and two blankets weighs warm atop of me. Resting by my feet is a toasty wheat-bag; another is by my groin. (Over the other side of the bed, Apollo’s feet clasp a hot-water bottle instead. To each their own.)

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Oiled and running smoothly

I’m a lazy masturbator. Most nights when I feel like getting myself off, I’ll reach down beside the bed to grab a book of erotica (The Pearl, or Color of Pain, Shade of Pleasure, or Wicked Words), reach into the bedside drawer to grab a toy (my micro-tinger, or the G Art, or a finger vibe), grab a towel from the sex-towel pile, and I’m off. It sounds like a lot of preparation, but it isn’t really – the books and toys are tried and true – I can open any book to any page and get to reading; put my thumb on the toy and get to coming.

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Beautiful

Reading Molly’s latest post on beauty started a train of thought for me, and I thought I’d share it. For a long time I held onto a hurtful thing my mother had said to me – one of those well-meaning comments that has the completely opposite effect, and leaves a bruise for years. (Why a bruise, and not a scar? Because a bruise hurts every time you bump up against it, and that’s exactly what this was – a memory that hurt every time I thought of it.)

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