Why Can’t I Have That?

Posted on | September 11, 2013 | 12 Comments |

After having the opportunity to thoroughly check out the newly refurbished cruise area at The Grinder, I have a serious case of ‘the envys’.

It’s not often that, as one who identifies as female, I’m allowed into one of these hallowed spots. Indeed, it was only that there was no one currently using the space that my friend and I were able to have a look at all (that and knowing the right person in the first place).

I am so glad that we did because the place is amazing! Dark, huge and with so much play-area variety. The whole time we were there my mind was populating it with people getting hard and getting their rocks off.

cruise club bench

‘ello, ‘ello, what’s this for then?

It’s only the second cruise club I’ve had the pleasure of checking out – last year I was delighted to head to Basement for one of their kink nights (and had an absolute blast). Prior to that it was only long years of listening to my brother’s stories… but boy did that give me ideas of what goes in inside places that are saunas as well as cruise clubs! Not that he gave me details – but there was just enough to get me interested and envious.

One thing I’ve wondered, for as long as he’s been gay and I’ve been my pansexual and open self is this: why isn’t there something like that for the rest of us? Not just a swinger club – I’ve enjoyed visiting them just fine, with their beds and couches and open areas – but a place that’s like Basement, like The Grinder?

curvaceousdee arse

Oh, it’s for this! *bends over and drops drawers*

When I feel like hot anonymous sex – sex without a face or conversation attached, why can’t I have a strange (condomed, thank you) cock through a glory hole? I want to be able to choose whether to do so in a private cubicle on my knees; sitting comfortably on a chair; or in a large space with other slurping suckers. Or perhaps I want to strap on my Share and be one of those getting my rocks off, hanging from a bar and arching in pleasure as someone does a number on me.

curvaceous dee glory hole

I’ve always wanted to try out one of these – I’m very happy on my knees.

Why can’t I visit a place like this, obtain consent with hands and body language, then bend them over, reaming them and encouraging them to cry out in pleasure so everyone can hear it? Or, indeed, be the one bent over?

If I want to explore things I’ve fantasised about but never done, why can’t I come to a cruise club with a decent bathroom area – the one spot that’s well lit – and try out piss play for the first time?

curvaceousdee gloryhole

If there had been cock(s) on the other side, this is the grin I’d have…

And if I want to relax and watch porn with a half dozen other people, languidly wanking without a need to get off unless an orgasm overtakes me… well, there’s a space there for that. So why can’t I? Why stay home or hunt down a hetero adult cinema?

Yes, I’m envious. Cruise clubs – empty, full of kinksters, full of my imagination, full without me – strike me as absolutely amazing. Not something for everyone, but something I, at least, want to be able to try. And I don’t want to take away from the gay man space. I want a cruise club that’s aimed at me – the filthy attracted-to-all-genders hot-to-watch, hot-to-try woman.

Only in my fantasies. But at least I have a better idea of what to fantasise about now.


This was originally written for express magazine in August 2013 – they could only show a very closely edited version of the final image, but you get them all!

(All photos taken by the lovely Delilah, on the same evening as the ATM snapshots.)

Wicked Wednesday

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12 Responses to “Why Can’t I Have That?”

  1. Gemma Jones
    September 12th, 2013 @ 3:07 pm

    This post leaves me feeling divided. I LOVE LOVE the idea of going to a cruise club and fucking and being fucked by who ever, however and wherever. But the sensible albiet boring part of me screams of all the dangers. I guess that is the struggle we all face.

  2. Amie
    September 12th, 2013 @ 6:01 pm

    I totally agree with you! I’m so envious of my gay male friends who get to visit the sauna. I have a feeling that once I got past being nervous and shy, I’d go to a place like this often.

  3. Silverdrops
    September 12th, 2013 @ 10:24 pm

    Envy envy envy

  4. Molly
    September 12th, 2013 @ 11:15 pm

    I know that some of the swingers clubs here have areas that can be used in this manner but I guess even then there is still not the insanely hot anonymity that you are talking about


  5. Twisted Angel
    September 13th, 2013 @ 1:43 am

    Ok I have never heard of a cruise club, of course I am in the middle of the bible belt, the jezebel that I am. So as you can guess things like this are not discussed ever. But I know this much the thought makes me wet and your pictures make me wetter..

  6. TheSinDoll
    September 13th, 2013 @ 8:29 am

    You’re an amazing blogger!

  7. Marie Rebelle
    September 13th, 2013 @ 11:04 pm

    For me this is also the first time I have heard about a cruise club, but I would love to see the inside of this, or a swingers club :)

    Rebel xox

  8. Dee
    September 16th, 2013 @ 9:53 am

    Gemma – Generally, the idea (and the reality) of stranger-fucking leaves me cold – I get more pleasure from getting it on with people with whom I have an established intimacy (so: lovers and friends). That said, some of my hottest fantasies and discussions revolve around safely being used/using strangers in a place like this!

    Amie – I don’t know that I would, in this STI world (oh, for a near-future where that is no longer an issue!). But I really want it to exist and be available, you know?

    Silverdrops – *grin* (heh – I typed ‘groin’ by accident first time!)

    Molly – Yeah, the swingers clubs I’ve visited for BDSM nights tend to be a bit more open/well-lit. Even with the private spaces you can see who you’re picking up, you know? That has it’s appeal too, though.

    Twisted Angel – There are advantages to having a brother who’s nearly as open (nearly) as I am! The thought of a place like this for people like me/us makes me wet, too …

    Sin Doll – *blushes* Thank you!

    Rebel – If you ever get the chance to check out either, take it! The nice thing about the latter, at the very least, is there’s no requirement to do anything. You can look around and see what’s what :)

    xx Dee

  9. KaziGrrl
    September 17th, 2013 @ 12:34 pm

    Oh, how I love that grin in the last photo!!
    You find the best spots :)

    ~Kazi xxx

  10. Dee
    September 18th, 2013 @ 2:53 pm

    Kazi – I most certainly do! Ain’t it great?

    xx Dee

  11. Kraken Architeuthis
    September 29th, 2013 @ 11:21 am

    I kind of wish there was a place for women like me, like this, too…

  12. Dee
    October 3rd, 2013 @ 10:44 am

    Kraken – Maybe one day there will be. We can but hope :)

    xx Dee


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