Sometimes I am small (it’s more often referred to as being little, but I prefer ‘small’) and while it doesn’t happen terribly often, it’s a pretty cool place to be. It’s been happening more often over the last few years. Very occasionally that’s in a (safe and consensual) sexual headspace, but more often it’s just as part of everyday life: when I’m tired, or curious, or working through something in counselling. I revert to being about six years of age.
I’ve not written about being small before as this is something I’ve needed to spend quite some time getting comfortable with – it’s a part of myself I am very protective of. Only a few partners have seen me this way, and not really any friends. My young self has only had the space to flower since my brother died and the pressure of being the grownup all the time began to abate. And I still never know when she’s going to pop through.
Most recently it was when I was spending the afternoon with Hylas. I’d gone over to join him for lunch, and for whatever reason – I think I was somewhat cranky – had started to be small just before we headed down the road to clear our PO Boxes, then go to the bakery. My personality when I’m small changes somewhat, and the way I talk makes it really obvious what’s happening. I really am just like a six year old (and what a pain in the arse I can be!).
At the bakery I couldn’t make up my mind what I wanted, and because they didn’t have croissants I decided to go to the Baker’s Delight at the corner to get some from there while Hylas waited for the hot chips to be cooked. And look at what I found there:
Bam! I’m one happy kid! Oh yeah
And, of course, I ate it all with my mouth open, slowly, and with extreme relish:
(There are click-throughs on both pics.)
The adult me would have shuddered in disgust at such a concoction. The small me, though, couldn’t wait to get my mitts and my mouth on it – and remembering it now, as my usual self, I have such a memory of pleasure – it’s something I am relearning, and loving.
So, small Dee, you’re definitely welcome to visit more. Even the sugar highs are totally worth it. *grins*
Nom nom nom nom nom…