I never thought I’d want to be owned. When I first began exploring kink a little over a decade ago I was most comfortable bottoming, and thought of myself as a submissive when I used a label at all. Over time I discovered I enjoyed topping as well – although that primarily expresses itself with Hylas (and occasionally Ailuros). For the most part I found that my relationship energy is different with different people: that Apollo and I am quite comfortable without kink; for Hylas and I the Boss/pet dynamic is integral; and with Dionysos and Adonis I was inherently submissive to them.
Still, the notion of being owned wasn’t something I’d desired or even considered. Then as I got to know Tethys as a person and a partner and our relationship dynamic evolved, I knew that submitting to eir felt right but didn’t feel like enough. Being owned by eir became something I desired, and thus it was something I asked for – which surprised the both of us! It led to a considerable amount of discussion back and forth, culminating in a ‘lease-to-own‘ arrangement. After meeting in person and figuring out that yes, the both of us really did feel this way, I was collared – another thing I never thought I’d want – and the two of us spent months putting together my first Title Deed (which has since been renewed). And so our long-discussed owner/property relationship became reality.
But it’s not a fairy-tale where we wander off into the sunset with our happily-ever-afters. It’s damned hard work at times – we’ve had miscommunications, challenges, and ‘are you sures?’ more than once. Nevertheless, this is something I desire very much indeed, and something m’Lady wants as well. The o/p dynamic isn’t the entirety of our relationship – we both agree that we’d still want to be together without it – but it’s very important to both of us.
A small part of a conversation we had last week:
m’Lady: And the more i have been in this dynamic with you, the more i’ve wanted it overall, and the more i’ve wanted it to be an increasingly significant part of our relationship.
m’Lady: Well, what do you get out of it?
Me: Comfort; safety; pride (of being owned and used and cared for so well); stretching (of self); love; loss of inhibitions; lustfulness; the deliberate subsumption of parts of myself as I become property.
m’Lady: So, what do i get out of it? Well ….
m’Lady: i get a buzz/high from the feelings of power involved in your submitting yourself to me like this.
m’Lady: i find it freeing, that i can express parts of myself and my sexuality – such as my sadism – in a explicitly consensual setting.
m’Lady: i feel like i don’t have to spend lots of energy restraining my feelings of lust – both in general and for you in particular – but can instead express them and seek to have them gratified.
Why do I like being owned? Well, that’s why. My owner is one of the most amazing people I know, and I feel so very special and loved to be eir property. I am myself, and yet somehow more than myself. I am the cherished property of m’Lady.