Great big heart

Posted on | February 14, 2012 | 5 Comments |

My heart is not small – my emotional heart, that is. My pillow one is pretty big too (although technically that one belongs to Hylas!). My big heart is full of opens doors; it’s bruised and scarred; and it has lots of space. Its walls are flexible and expand easily to fit more people in.

And I like my heart that way – it’s my design, and my choice. But some hearts are static. Some hearts are just one room filled with just one person. Some hearts only have one door, with one key latch – but no one has the key. And some hearts are so scarred they don’t open any more.  Sure, my heart is damaged – as all hearts are in some way – but damage is part of living and loving. I prefer to take the chance.

I wrote about my experiences as a big-hearted, polyamorous person on Valentine’s Day for most recent print issue of Express Magazine, and the article has also gone up on their website today. It’s contrasted with Amie Wee’s queer point of view – Occupy Valentine’s Day is a concept I can get behind – and both make for great reading!

There are some other big hearts out there too – have a read of the following great articles:

Don’t fit love into a heart-shaped box: “If Valentine’s Day represents love, why must we make it fit into a box?  Love is grand.  Love has a way of taking the most rational of people and making them emotionally turbulent, from elated to despondent.  Love affects everyone differently even though it is physically similar in most of us.  Love is many different things to many different people.  The one thing that love is not is simple.” (Troy Santana / The Shorthorn)

Modern lovers: The ‘sexual body warriors’ and pioneers transforming 21st century relationships: ” There are more ways than ever to find “The One” (or two, or three, or more), it is just that our map to get there has become worn. In short, just as Elisabeth Beck-Gernsheim wrote in The Normal Chaos of Love: “Love is becoming a blank that lovers must fill in themselves.”” (Sarah Morrison / The Independent)

Why do you do it? “He told us of how his experience made him leap for life, made him live every moment he had, and what made his life worth living, what made him grasp for life with every fiber in his being, were the relationships he had.  He then showed us a picture of his infant and told us that this is worth living for and this is worth leaving his hand for.  He says he didn’t lose anything in that canyon.  He left his hand behind, but he gained so much more in the realization that the will to love is what was behind his will to live, and that it was his relationships that made life worth living.” (Joreth)


Make your own candy heart pics here!

Photograph by Amie, pillow by Hylas (the hat’s all mine…)

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5 Responses to “Great big heart”

  1. Shane
    February 15th, 2012 @ 11:45 am

    I must say it is nice to see you so happy…. your pictures have lately all been happy smiley Dee 😀

  2. raquel
    February 16th, 2012 @ 4:43 pm

    “ethical slutdom.” why are you so amazing? as a mostly straight, monogamous married woman who (with my husband’s support, hooray!) strives to make sex the generous, mutually enjoyable adventure it should be, I’ve found your site both informative and inspirational. thanks so much for sharing your heart on V-Day (and every other day).

  3. Dee
    February 21st, 2012 @ 10:57 am

    Thank you both, Shane and raquel, for your lovely comments! I am always happy to share my smiles and my heart :)

    xx Dee

  4. Fae
    February 26th, 2012 @ 6:00 pm

    You are so adorable in this photo!! Makes me want to eat you all up!

  5. Dee
    February 26th, 2012 @ 10:23 pm

    *kisses the Fae*

    xx Dee


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