Posted on | December 9, 2011 | 7 Comments |

I really like D/s, and a lot of what it entails (yeah, duh, I know). A quick look at the BDSM and kinky categories over in my sidebar, and all the sub-categories, shows that I have and have had a lot of fun experimenting in the time I’ve kept this blog.  A few years ago I figured out that I am no longer entirely on the bottom end of the spectrum (hooray for switchy proclivities, which keeps Hylas well entertained).

This year, though, I’ve learned that I am more than a bottom, when on the bottom. At least, I am when it comes to Tethys.

When our long-distance relationship commenced, earlier this year, I rapidly discovered myself yearning for something that I had never felt with anyone else before. Not with any of my other top partners – not Dionysos, not Helios, not Adonis. While they were all excellent at topping me (although Helios was remarkably short-lived), with Tethys I was feeling something new. And this was, frankly, scary to admit. I felt like I wanted hir to own me.

Not terribly practical, with hir 3000-odd kilometers across the ocean, and not even having met me in person. We both knew that. But the desire was strong on both sides – hir to be owner, me to be property. So we settled on a ‘lease-to-own‘ agreement: we would see how things went in person. And if they went well? Then we’d set up our Title Deed, and ownership it would be.

My trip to Melbourne went very well. And if you happen to follow me on FetLife, you might have noticed something on November 24th. Which is that is that not only did m’Lady agree to become my owner. Zie also agreed to collar me as well. (I know!!!)

That second part wasn’t planned, the collaring. Because I’ve never taken collars very seriously before. I’ve owned a few different ones, and they were always for play space – put them on, take them off. Use them and then discard them. I knew that for many other D/s people collars were a sign of deep commitment. But for me that had never been the case. Until this point.

Because this collar was made specifically for us – just for me to wear, and to wear for m’Lady. It was made by my best friend Kiana, who does amazing leatherwork as Highlander Floggers. (And yes, she does take commissions!) The idea, originally, was to make something that Tethys could put on me when we played. However as the days went on in Melbourne I wore it more and more. Zie told me when to put it on, and when to take it off, and eventually, I was only taking it off to shower and sleep – and sometimes not even then (one night I fell asleep with it on, and slept right though. It was very comfortable).

We went to Bunnings and found a large D clip to attach to it, and a length of chain as well. The finding of these had me spiralling into fuckspace right in the store – just knowing those were going to be attaching to my collar so I could be used appealed to me so much. My cunt was drenched, and as soon as we were back at the car m’Lady took to opportunity to attach them to the collar and make use of my mouth. That pleased us both immensely…

By the time it came to fly home, the idea of taking this collar off made me unutterably sad. I wore it at the airport. I wore it on the flight. I – finally – took it off just before passing through customs, and meeting Hylas back in Auckland airport.

So since returning home, I’ve been wondering how it is that the meaning of collars has changed so much to me. And I think that – like ownership – it’s not that all collars have changed, but that this collar has changed. It’s changed because of Tethys. Because of hir. I wanted to be owned by hir, and so being collared by hir is meaningful.

That’s it’s a collar created by my best friend, with love, with dedication and desire to make it the best thing she could make it, for the two of us, makes it even more amazing.

The collar is kangaroo leather on kangaroo leather. It seemed appropriate given that m’Lady lives in Australia! Tethys chose the colour, while I picked the type of leather. There are three D rings, one at the front, and one at each side.

Tethys and I looked at a lot of different collar pictures together, working out what appealed to both of us. I never wear necklaces for more than a few hours, as I have psoriasis at the back of my neck which bothers me when things rub against it. The fact that I can wear my collar for an entire day, or overnight, it testament to how well Kiana made it – it doesn’t bother me at all.

Because Kiana made this specifically for me, it’s made to fit. That means there’s not a whole lot of extra leather at the back. It’s exactly the right length, with one hole to buckle through. This is the only picture I could find where you could even see it a little bit (those two shiny dots are actually the studs just next to the buckle).

Do I look like I’ve had my face fucked into the sand? Well, I have. How handy that there was a collar and chain to put me down where m’Lady wanted me to be…

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7 Responses to “Collared”

  1. Miss Avarice
    December 10th, 2011 @ 10:12 am

    I’m ferociously proud of you and so pleased by your happiness! *tacklehug*

  2. Molly
    December 10th, 2011 @ 10:43 am

    Beautiful…. just such a perfect write up and observation about the significance of a collar. I had a few collars before I met Sir, I wore them for fun and because they looked nice and yes because they nurtured my submissive need but that was it. Now my collar means so much to me because it means something very powerful between us. I ADORE my collar, I currently have 3 different ones for different occasions, but my everyday collar, which is a light silver chain with a pendent attached probably means more to me then my wedding ring and that is really saying something.


  3. Belladonnax
    December 11th, 2011 @ 11:09 pm

    I also love D/s, sometimes that is not popular. I’ve never used ‘play collars’ for that reason ; to me they’re serious, or not at all!

    So I am more than delighted that you feel the same way too :)

    and it’s funny … that photo showing the back of your collar … as a domme that’s my favorite view of a collar and that’s the reason I took it :)

    much love to both of you xxx

    December 12th, 2011 @ 10:23 am

    Nice collar. plus I really love the top picture with the sea behind you. 😀

  5. Dee
    December 14th, 2011 @ 6:02 pm

    Miss Avarice – Thank you for your ferocious pride, sweetheart! I don’t know if you know just how much that means to me. *hugs you hard*

    Molly – The one thing that I wish my collar was able to do (and isn’t) is be worn all the time. Unfortunately it’s just not practical, although I wish with all my heart that it was! Currently m’Lady and I are trying to work out if there is something I can have on my person 24/7 so, like my wedding ring, I have it there as my perpetual reminder.

    Bella – The things I never knew about you :) You took so many awesome photos that day, and when I went hunting for a shot of the back of the collar, I knew there’d be one, even know I didn’t know why. Why is it your favourite view? Do you like the head bowed, neck exposed, vulnerable to you position? *licks your fingers*

    DDA – Cheers for commenting! There’s something almost subversive about being totally naked at the nude beach, aside from a collar …

    xx Dee

  6. Heather Cole
    August 18th, 2012 @ 8:14 am

    Oh Dee…I’ve come to this post late, but the power of your words haven’t faded at all. When I left my ex-Master’s service, taking off my collar was one of the most difficult things I’ve ever done. I loved reading about your experience. It reminded me so much of my own. My tears are happy ones for you. xoxo

  7. Dee
    August 20th, 2012 @ 9:16 pm

    Thank you Heather – both for your lovely comments, and for giving me the opportunity to re-read my own words :)

    xx Dee


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