I am not a slut? Huh?

Posted on | August 22, 2011 | 11 Comments | Previous Post Next Post

According to my brother, I am not a slut. It totally floored me when he said this, because ‘slut’ is one of those words which I have cheerfully laid claim to for a number of years.

I mean, of course I’m a slut (albeit an ethical one)! I sleep with lots of people, and get nude in public, and talk about sex all the time!

But no. My brother thinks differently. Which led to a fascinating conversation on Sunday morning.

Picture the scene. My brother, in t-shirt, jeans and slippers, a can of V in his hand, sprawled on one couch. Me, completely naked (because I’d just put my nightie in the wash, and Apollo was in the shower, and I was waiting for the shower to come free), sitting on the other couch and folding washing. And we were having a discussion about my sluttiness, or lack thereof. Anyone have a grin at that mental image?

According to my brother, who very definitely got his slut on back in the day (by any definition), I am not a slut. And the reason I am not a slut is because I don’t sleep with lots of different people. How’d you like that one? It seems that because I only very rarely add new partners (or lose old ones), I don’t get to wear the slut label.

*pouts*

(I refrained from pointing out all the people in my life that I consider kissing-friends, cuddling-friends, and beating-the-shit-out-of-friends.)

(I also refrained from pointing out that if I found more people I wanted to be in relationships with, I’d be adding new partners a lot more often!)

So, wanting clarification, I asked him. “If I was a swinger, or went to gang-bangs, would I be a slut then?”

“Yes,” said he.

“Huh. So what am I?”

He looked at me like I was an idiot, before responding with what was apparently the most obvious thing in the world to him.

“You’re poly.”

And how could I argue that?

Reposted from May 2010 - a really awesome memory to have.

Category: Icarus, polyamory, Relationships, repost

Comments

11 Responses to “I am not a slut? Huh?”

KaziGrrl
August 23rd, 2011 @ 12:12 am

You have to appreciate the precision of his definition LOL
Guess you need to ‘get out there’ more
Dee
Twitter: curvaceousdee

August 23rd, 2011 @ 9:31 am

Oh, I think I’m out there plenty! I’ll stick with my own definition on this one

xx Dee
Miranda
August 24th, 2011 @ 5:19 am

Definitions are so funny. I have a friend who is very against my lifestyle. She is a one woman only type thinking lifetime lesbian. In the last year she has had a half dozen “girlfriends.” Each one is the one for her.
I who self identify as a swinger have not had a new partner in about a year and a half. I’m married, have a long term boyfriend and girlfriend, and our other friends with benefits suit me fine and completely take all free time I get.
She considers me a slut for having more than one partner at a time. Having one after another doesn’t qualify her to the title she claims.
Dee
Twitter: curvaceousdee

August 25th, 2011 @ 8:25 am

I must admit I find serial monogamy weirder than what it is that we do… but yes. The way people define ‘slut’ fascinates me

xx Dee
Tom
August 26th, 2011 @ 8:09 pm

He has a good argument but I think I am with you on this Dee. Oh and yes I had a lovely grin on my face at that mental image.

I do love the word polyamorous though.

Tom
xx
Dee
Twitter: curvaceousdee

August 27th, 2011 @ 11:54 am

Glad you liked the mental image, Tom And the word polyamorous too. Even if it does mix it’s Greek and Latin roots!

xx Dee
RJS
August 27th, 2011 @ 1:15 pm

Delightful Dee, I love the classic quote: “Since when is being a slut a crime in this family?” Too bad that more families don’t celebrate sensuality.
Dee
Twitter: curvaceousdee

August 28th, 2011 @ 10:19 am

What’s that from, RJS? It definitely suits

xx Dee
RJS
August 28th, 2011 @ 10:54 am

DD, thanks for asking. It’s from the marvelous movie “The Witches of Eastwick.” You should definitely rent it, if you’ve never seen it.
RJS
August 28th, 2011 @ 11:05 am

Oy! I was wrong. My sweet spouse just corrected my movie mistake. The quote is from “Practical Magic,” another fab flick.
Dee
Twitter: curvaceousdee

August 28th, 2011 @ 12:27 pm

I have seen both, although only once and both quite a while ago. May have to rewatch

xx Dee

About Dee

Exhibitionist with words, skin and sex. Free with kisses, compliments, and friendship. Open with heart, passion, and laughter.
Labels I choose for myself: pansexual, polyamorous, fat, kinky, New Zealander, writer.
You can keep my partners and close friends not-mixed-up by reading more about them here.
I write fortnightly for GLBTI magazine Express, for whom I am also the sub-editor. I also write upon occasion for other publications!
If you want to get in touch, send me an email: curvaceous.dee@gmail.com.