Chronic hope

In my photos you see me smile all the time – and that’s because I’m happy. I love being photographed, I like blogging, and I delight in the wonderful comments of my readers.

But being happy isn’t an easy thing. I am happy, yes, but it is in spite of a whole fuckton lot of things. Of those, three are the biggies, and they are depression, grief, and pain.

None of them are things you can see when you look at me, and see me smiling. But they’re all there, all the time.

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Studio smiles

I love being photographed. (You never would have guessed, would you?) And being photographed by Amie Wee was one of the funnest non-orgasm afternoons I’ve had this year. We rocked out to disco; I played with various toys; she played with lights and made silly suggestions and we had a great time working together!

I think she did an awesome job of showing just how much fun I was having. What do you think?

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Diaphanous – that means see-through

I have a few pieces of clothing that are wonderfully sheer, and I take great delight in slipping them over my skin. Thanks to a well-priced purchase at the most recent Erotica Expo, I now also have a lovely diaphanous ‘nightie+knickers’ to add to the collection.

It made its début when I was on my long relaxing debauched weekend away with Apollo, over on Waiheke Island. It’d been far too long since he and I had been on holiday, so I wanted to surprise him with something special!

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I am not a slut? Huh?

According to my brother, I am not a slut. It totally floored me when he said this, because ‘slut’ is one of those words which I have cheerfully laid claim to for a number of years.

I mean, of course I’m a slut (albeit an ethical one)! I sleep with lots of people, and get nude in public, and talk about sex all the time!

But no. My brother thinks differently. Which led to a fascinating conversation on Sunday morning.

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Oh so frilly

It may be the middle of winter here in Auckland, but the weather today was glorious! I took advantage of this by wearing nothing but my (sinfully comfortable red velvet) knickers for most of the day: making topless date scones for lunch; stripping the bed; and enjoying the puddles of sunlight on the back deck. While I miss the private backyard we had at our previous house, I figure anyone willing to look out their window and through various tree branches in order to perve at me is welcome to do so.

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Don’t be afraid of your freedom

Does anyone else have their own theme-song? You know – the one song, that whenever you listen to it, feels thematic/resonates with your life? And cheers you the hell up to boot!

Me, I most definitely do – which is good, as it means I have something to write about. I’ve had a theme for as long as I can remember, and while it has changed a few times, I’ve had the same one now for the best part of twenty years.

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Too damned cold!

It seems only appropriate that as we shiver through some of the coldest weather New Zealand has ever seen, I put up pics from an extremely cold holiday!

What do you do when it’s too cold to take off your clothes? Well if you’re me, you stay bundled up in many layers of merino wool (although the hat, gloves and scarf came and went as needed), and go have some fun anyway.

On the Saturday of our trip, Hylas and I hiked to Dawson Falls, partway up Mount Taranaki. The walk to the viewing platform was relatively easy (although I was glad of hiking boots). The walk down down down to the falls was another thing indeed. And the trek back up? Slow and painful, with many stops. Those were some wicked steps.

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We sleeping wake, and waking sleep

I don’t often dream about sex. It may be that I get enough during my waking hours, or cover the possibilities during my fantasies. Either way, to dream of sexual dalliances, relations, meanderings and savourings is precious and memorable to me. Strangers all, my dream lovers – unforgettable and yet not a threat to those I love when my eyes are open. Sparkling brightly, my dream self comes together with them only once, before they move on to another setting, another dreaming desirer.

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Sugar Loafs

What are Sugar Loafs, you may ask? Are they food? It is a euphemism for boobies? In this case it’s neither, but instead the Sugar Loaf Islands. They sit just off Port Taranaki and can be found on the extreme left of the North Island, looking out over a lot of Pacific Ocean. Which we went and looked at on a very fucking cold day (and a few hours after the Wind Wand photographs)!

Be amused at the photos, which Hylas managed to snap between sleety rain showers – and click through for some extremely brief boobie flashing. *brrrrr*

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