Damn, but I keep procrastinating when I have to write a review and the product is completely crap…
So here’s the one-paragraph review:
This is a not a good product. And I feel that it’s kind of sad that the best thing I can say about the Fetish Fantasy Doggy Hood and Leash is – well, at least people can’t see who’s wearing it!
And the review with more detail:
I thought that this would be a neat thing to review, as my lovely Pet also makes a very good puppy. He’s got his rubber moulded dog hood, his rubber bone, big stainless steel bowls to eat and drink from, a big mat to curl up on, and a pretty impressive doggy tail as well. Some of these he had before we met, some we’ve bought together, and some I’ve purchased for him as gifts. I thought that maybe this hood would make a good addition, especially as you can have eye and / or mouth access, something which the rubber dog hood does not (awesome to wear, great enclosure etc. Not so good to wear when trying to eat!).
Because I’m always willing to try new things myself, when the Doggy Hood and Leash arrived and we got it open, I wanted to put it on myself first. Cue hysterical laughing from us both, really. Yes, most of these photos are of me. You can tell, because Hylas doesn’t own a fluorescent pink top!
So, first impressions out of the box. It looks like leather in the product photo, but you know what? That’s not leather. It smells vaguely petroleum-y, and the interior of the hood is the same as you get on those fake leather trousers that you thought you liked and then never wore (what, you didn’t have those tucked away in the back of your wardrobe?).
It also appears that this is not a product designed to keep it’s shape well. Perhaps putting it on will help?
Perhaps not. My ears – and my muzzle – are rather wonky. I can breathe well enough through the nose holes, but opening the mouth zip leaves everything rather lop-sided, if more airy.
Snapping off the blindfold isn’t too difficult (although snapping it back on is rather unpleasant), but my eyes don’t line up terribly well with the holes. Given that the hood is resting on the most comfortable place on my nose, that’s a little worrisome.
“Do I look like a dog?” Hmm. Perhaps no one should answer that question. I certainly don’t feel like a dog!
I’d needed Hylas’ assistance to tighten the hood appropriately – while I could put it on over my head, I needed help to tighten the cords at the back. And we discovered something rather interesting as we did so – there’s enough cord here to tickle my arse, post tightening. That’s a lot of extra cord!
It’s a shame that there was so much cord left over, but the vinyl leash was so very short. Not terribly practical – if somewhat amusing to Hylas…
So. Also not something you can put on yourself. Definitely need a second pair of hands, unless you’ve had a lot of practice.
Any why won’t my ears straighten out?
Okay. His turn. It was, after all, my puppy that I’d gotten it for!
Hylas also slid the hood on over his head without too much trouble, and I was able to tighten the cords for him. There was a good baffle at the back, to ensure that tightening those cords wouldn’t catch and pull on his hair (this was a good thing – the baffle also meant that there’s a lot of lee-way in head-size for this, at least in terms of fitting it over the skull and not showing hair). Of course, I absolutely took the opportunity to pay him back, so I made sure his lower back was well-tickled with those cords once I was done …
Alas, he didn’t look any better in it than I did – or feel it. Blegh. And we made one more interesting discovery when he had it on, too:
So. No. Not really designed for a larger head at all!
We took the hood off him. Looked at it some more. Looked at the photos on the camera. Laughed. Wished I’d requested a different product. Put it back in its box.
And went to play with the rubber hood instead.
Verdict: Just … no.
Name: Doggy Hood and Leash, from Fetish Fantasy Series
Size: One size fits all
Materials: Fake leather (no idea what it’s really made of), vinyl leash
Made in: China
Price: $56.99 US
Worthy of note: It gets a 1 rather than a 0 for having that baffle at the back
Places it feels good: Back in the box
See all my reviews here!