I like going on adventures. And going on an adventure with an unadventured friend is always an extra adventure! So when my awesome fanboy ménage-a-moi suggested we go Angel-hunting, it was with delight that we compared calendars and made a plan.
Said plan was quite simple – as the best plans are – and went like this:
1: Meet in Newmarket, five days before Giftmas.
2: Track down the eight Angels said to be lurking in the vicinity.
3: Get photographic evidence of ourselves with said Angels, in order to
4: return home and upload said photos to Facebook, so as to
5: help the Auckland City Mission get donations.
Ménage wrote such an excellent record of our adventures that I am going to steal excerpt from his post, whilst providing images of my Angel-capturage. I do recommend visiting his site and reading the whole thing, though!
We set out for the first leg of our journey. Our guide, Google Maps, had shared with us local knowledge of angel habitats, where we might stalk and locate our prey. We journeyed down the Broad Way, bypassing the renowned Khyber Pass, and came upon a region known obscurely as ‘Teed St’. Entering the desolate lands of Teed St, our progress was cloaked in an ominous silence. Ears pricked like vigilant hounds, we advanced, soft footfall after soft footfall. Further and further we progressed, until we feared we may have circumnavigated our goal entirely without a sighting. We would not let despair overtake us, for we knew, in our heart of hearts, that we were mighty hunters. And then we heard it. A rustling behind us! Standing stark at attention, we whipped around with snake-like reflexes to see the feathered beast resting upon the wall, plain as day, taunting us! The beast sought to rend my pride with the obviousness of its placement, but I was unmoved in my arrogance certainty! We locked eyes in a battle of half-wits, neither daring to look away or drop guard for one second. This exercise in banality was curtailed in short order as Dee struck the wing a savage blow with her parasol, and all animation left this illustration. Having bested our foe, we posed for celebratory photographs.
With the eyes of a bat, the ears of an eagle, and the focus of an autistic child, we surveyed the concrete canyon of Nuffield Street for any sign of our feathered foe. Crestfallen, we pressed on with neither hide nor hair presenting itself to our beady little eyes. And I made a most gruesome discovery. Our angels were not simply hiding, they were slaughtered! I had to remove my glasses dramatically and exclaim “MURDER!” in an expression of being very much aghast! We documented evidence of this tragic fate that had befallen the fair angels, to present to the wealthy benefactors of our expedition, the Auckland City Mission.
Returning to the Broad Way, my fellow hunter and I were able to track down the two remaining angels. This time we took more pity upon these troubled creatures, too few remained, too few.
Our elusive prey was an endangered species. Thankfully the Auckland City Mission has been carrying out a captive breeding program, and a new batch of angels have been released into the wilds, so these locations should hold a prize for enterprising explorers!
Our mission thus complete, with three Angels out of eight found, one partial wing discovery, and one definitive absence (which makes me sad), we photographed our triumph. Well, a lovely monk photographed our triumph. Ménage and I had not been as successful as we had anticipated… but we had had fun! So we proceeded to have some more fun (which will be posted later).
Oh, and if you want to know which picture I uploaded to Facebook? It’s on the click-through below…