Fat Dee is Fat

Posted on | July 27, 2010 | 21 Comments |

Trollish backstory

Last week this blog saw its first ever troll (I have no idea what took them so long, really!). The reaction from readers was swift, hilarious, and awesome.

Here’s how it started – ‘Jesus’ commented with the following:

jesus fucken christ you’re fat

seriously, not ‘curvaceous’

just fucken FAT

Oh, silly silly jesus. Didn’t you notice that my profile description, in the oh-so-hard-to-find side-bar, specifically uses the word ‘fat’?

Still, it seemed like he was trying to use the word in a negative, pejorative, and insulting way. How to respond? Well, like this:

‘jesus’, I’m definitely fat, no argument there! But Curvaceous Dee rolls off the tongue with a bit more flair that Fat Dee :)

Then I twittered about it, because I was amused – and the reactions came thick and fast…

Troll backlash!

Here on the blog, plenty of commenters had their say:

AAG got there first: Fuck you, Jesus. No really, FUCK YOU.

(Somehow I just can’t beat this for hilarity!)

Roxy had this to say:

I’ve always thought Curvaceous Dee was a perfect name, but a few more come to mind:

-Sexy Dee

-Playful Dee

-Sweet-as-Sugar Dee

-Beautiful Dee

Keep it up, gorgeous. :)

(I want to add Zaftig Dee and Rotund Dee to this list, please.)

Amie said it well: Oh Jesus. How immature.

(So very schoolyard!)

Laura got all dictionary on his ass:

(Can I kiss you now, Laura?)

Fred popped his head above the parapet:

Just ignore the idiot!

We love you Dee.

Fred

(We love you too, Fred!)

~m chimed in with:

God, I hate morons like Jesus. (And reading that statement just made me giggle.)

Curvaceous Dee is a Bodacious Woman!

<3 <3 <3

(Bodacious? I love it!)

And FrecklesNZ (my sweet friend with no blog to link to) shared a brilliant story:

You’ll like this (and apologies to anyone religious)…

We were sitting around talking about people you can’t trust, given random examples other people had told us and the 11 year old pipes up with ‘never trust anyone called Jesus’! Where that came from, I have no idea, but it’s appropriate here!

(Hee!)

Over on twitter, these reactions came through as well:

RockinwithaCock: I’m sorry someone felt the need to be mean. I think it’s funny that it looks like his name is jesus, though. :P

LScribbens: And isn’t it just ironic that he calls himself “Jesus”, as if Jesus would of ever said that to someone.

MlleAuroreB: Wow that’s a brilliant comment on “Jesus'” part. So articulate.

ehjc: It’s like he thinks it’s an insult. Sad. *hugs* for you Dee!

thecrimsonkitty: your response was classy, intelligent, and to the point. He probably won’t get it because he can’t even spell correctly!

tSunshineLove: Anytime I can kick Jesus in the nads, you just let me know.

Becs: and what awesome responses from your other readers!

Oonai: That person really needs a hobby. You are beautiful Dee!

(You are all gorgeous, wonderful, fantabulous readers!)

Troll-be-gone

Sadly, as jesus’ email address was patently fake – cunt@nowhere.com – it’s unlikely he’ll see any of these awesome responses. But he has, truly, been kicked – whether he knows it or not.

Fuck you, Jesus. I’m fat, and I love it!

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Comments

21 Responses to “Fat Dee is Fat”

  1. Amie
    July 27th, 2010 @ 7:02 pm

    This post made me giggle. :-)

  2. 1queer1
    July 27th, 2010 @ 7:49 pm

    Dee,

    Perfect troll kick slam and dunk.

    You are not only curvaceous, sexy, smart, and lovely, you also don’t need no white knight charging on in for you!

    Tolls beware!

    Xxxxxx

    J

  3. Laura
    July 27th, 2010 @ 8:07 pm

    Hilarious post! And if I wasn’t a half a world away, I’d totally take you up on that kiss… :p

  4. Belladonnax
    July 27th, 2010 @ 9:33 pm

    Jesus is embarrassed that troll dude is taking his name in vain. srsly. what a dumbarse!!!

  5. DN
    July 27th, 2010 @ 9:44 pm

    I’m almost sorry I missed it…I need to read (and write) blog posts more frequently.

    May I belated add that if I want anyone near my naked body it’s Curvaceous Dee and not Jesus (in any of his/HIS incarnations).

  6. Iona
    July 27th, 2010 @ 11:11 pm

    Love this post Dee. Thanks for providing us all a giggle at his (note lack of Capital Letter) expense. Bwhahahaha! :D

  7. Nadia West
    July 27th, 2010 @ 11:55 pm

    Great post! I missed the message on twitter, but I’m glad others spoke up about your awesomeness.

  8. RuntMcRory
    July 28th, 2010 @ 1:41 am

    You said you love your fat well you know what, I love your fat too.

    Its lovely fat, its sexy fat, its gorgeous fat, its fat that makes me want to touch and play with it, its fat that calls out for kisses and fragrant oils but most of all its fat that belongs to a really really nice lady :)

  9. Wendy Blackheart
    July 28th, 2010 @ 12:43 am

    I love how any troll’s first comment is “OMG UR SO FAT!” as if 1)You haven’t noticed yet and 2) Its obviously the most insulting thing ever.

    My favourite is when you get guys on dating sites who start out wanting to jump your bones, and when you say no thanks, they go “OMG UR SO FAT”. So cute.

    Anyway, I think you may have virtually pooped on the face of said troll with this post. I’m pretty sure he’s not the real jesus either.

  10. rach
    July 28th, 2010 @ 6:20 am

    There is always one bad apple to ruin the bunch. Even someone such as Jesus. Stay your amazing self!

  11. vanimp
    July 28th, 2010 @ 8:25 am

    Poor little guy has been afflicted by ‘small dick syndrome’ there’s normally no cure and one of the side effects is trolling and stupid things coming out ones mouth ‘beams’

    I luffs you! xxx

  12. Kiwiana
    July 28th, 2010 @ 7:52 pm

    Fantastic answer to one of the most silly comments made on this blog.

    I don’t think about your beauty as shape anymore. Just as lovely and comfy and … you!

    Hugs

  13. Dee
    July 28th, 2010 @ 8:33 pm

    Amie – You and me both!

    1queer1 – I don’t need a white knight, no. They’re still nice to perve at, though :)

    Laura – I bet you would, sweetie…

    Bella – I think you may be right, there!

    DN – You say the loveliest, perviest, things :)

    Sapio – I think giggling is the only response jesus is going to get, somehow.

    Nadia – It’s kinda cool to know that I’m not the only one who thinks I’m awesome…

    Wendy – Face-pooping is a mental image that cracked me up totally.

    Runt – *blushes, LOTS*

    rach – That’s it: Jesus is a bad apple!

    vanimp – I luffs you too! It’s been too long.

    Kiwiana – You mean I’m not shapely? *lip wobble*

    You all rock, readers!

    xx Dee

  14. Miss Magenta
    August 11th, 2010 @ 1:57 am

    Dee, you’re a fat, fabulous, flirty, fun darling. I’ll throw kindhearted in there too because you’re just gold.

    xx MM

  15. Dee
    August 11th, 2010 @ 11:29 am

    *blushes* You say the loveliest things, MM! Hope you’re doing okay. *hugs*

    xx Dee

  16. viemoira
    August 14th, 2010 @ 3:29 am

    It is awfully sad that there are people out there that are so miserable with themselves that they have to go out of their way to bring others down; misery loves company they say. I’m glad this person did not get what they wanted and you are so strong in your confidence- perhaps they can learn a lesson from you on self-respect.
    I LOVE the demotivator- it says it all!
    HUGS

  17. Dee
    August 21st, 2010 @ 3:51 pm

    vie – *big hugs* back. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment!

    xx Dee

  18. RJS
    August 28th, 2011 @ 6:02 am

    Delightful Dee, you “rock.” And even if there are a few “rolls” of flesh – it makes it nicer to hug & squeeze ya! Remember the old, sage saying: “Only a dog likes bones.”

  19. Dee
    August 28th, 2011 @ 10:24 am

    RJS – Thank you for commenting on this post! I had a lovely time re-reading it and reminding myself how awesome my readers are :)

    xx Dee

  20. Carol Anne Caiafa
    April 14th, 2012 @ 12:27 pm

    The creeper can get lost, because you are BEAUTIFUL!!! <3

  21. Dee
    April 18th, 2012 @ 4:13 pm

    I am, I agree! *hugs*

    xx Dee


  

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