That’s a Switch!

Posted on | January 4, 2010 | 9 Comments |

It’s summer, and that means summer barbecues. Nothing like quaffing liquid which make you tipsy, eating nommy foods, and talking about kink to make the days go by!

There have been a lot of summer barbecues over the last few weeks, and the most recent was just yesterday.  It was great to catch up with friends, and one of them, iona, mentioned a quiz she’d done recently – and how her results had changed so much since last doing it. The quiz? Do You Have an Inclination for BDSM?

The short answer is: Well, duh. Of course I do!

BUT. I’m also aware how much growth and change I have gone through, kink-wise, in the last few months. And I’m also aware that re-doing my BDSM checklist with Hylas recently showed how much things change for me, as regards BDSM, all the time. New experiences, new partners, and new opportunities all alter how I interact and play with kink.  So I was curious to see what my results would be when doing the test myself.

Below are my results. Considering how until only a few months ago I considered myself submissive… there’s been quite a change!

You Scored as Switch

You know what you want but it has nothing to do with your own role in the bedroom. You have the ability to be flexible in that area which can be useful for exploring your sexuality with your partner(s).

Switch
93%
Exhibitionist / Voyeur
89%
Bondage
79%
Experimental
75%
Masochist
75%
Sadist
68%
Submissive
57%
Dominant
46%
Degradation Lover
25%
Vanilla
14%

My relationship with Hylas has kick-started a lot of changes for me. I’m the dominant partner in a relationship (in a healthy, consensual fashion) for the first time. I know that I get a huge kick out of being his ‘Boss’, while he is my ‘pet’ – and it works for us.

The nature of our interactions has a definite power-exchange to it, albeit in a laid-back and benevolent fashion, even outside the bedroom.  On my birthday I gave him a gift – his own rubber neckwire which he wears whenever we are together, including in public places. I call him ‘pet’ most all of the time, and he does the same calling me ‘Boss’. And we just click in a way that I’ve not clicked with any other parter. In a way where I’m in charge, because we both like it that way.

That’s not how I am all of the time. With Adonis I’m definitely still submissive. With Apollo and Hermes there is no power-exchange at all. But with Hylas? With Hylas I’m on top. And that’s quite a switch!

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Comments

9 Responses to “That’s a Switch!”

  1. MinorityReport
    January 5th, 2010 @ 12:11 pm

    Sounds like you’re having a good time.
    I took the quiz for fun as well and posted my results. Thanks for sharing it. It was fun. :)

  2. K
    January 5th, 2010 @ 2:31 pm

    Hello,

    I have a question about this quiz… and really about BDSM in general.

    I took the quiz just for fun, but I already know I’m genuinely interested in exploring BDSM. I even got the Bottoming & Topping books on my Kindle for Christmas! I still have to read them, but they’re good to go when I am.

    But I’m taking this quiz, and I’m struggling with the questions about pain.

    Reason I’m getting thrown off is because I have experience with chronic sexual pain, which, for a time, was bad enough to prevent penetration with any object. It wasn’t a matter of foreplay or not being in the moment; there was a physical thing going on in my cells. For some reason my nerve endings were interpreting any touch as pain.

    Anyway, I got that mostly under control now, it’ll never be completely resolved but for the most part I’m okay with where I am. But now when I’m reading these qusetions about pain that ask like, I enjoy the idea that my partner wants to inflict pain on me. I like being threatened with pain. After sex, I enjoy seeing the evidence of the pain I experienced during sex. All I can do is flashback to the peak pain days and I never want to experience that again.

    Yet I can imagine myself enjoying other kinds of BDSM activity that would be somewhat painful – spanking, for example.
    And on the one hand I know there’s got to be a difference between unwanted sex pain and wanted pain. But I’m having a difficult time reconciling my experience with incorporating BDSM activity into my own life.
    I feel like, if I decide submission is something I’m interested in, I’ll fall short in comparison to other subs.
    Which, rationally, I know is a silly worry because BDSM is not a contest.

    Any ideas, or, any people/blogs you can direct me to that would be able to provide me with feedback on how to reconcile dysparunia (sex pain) vs. consensual BDSM pain?

  3. FrumiousMe
    January 5th, 2010 @ 4:10 pm

    That was a very interesting quiz, with surprising (to me) results. Thanks for posting :)

  4. Miss Serenity
    January 6th, 2010 @ 12:01 pm

    Very interesting quiz. Thank you for posting this :) I am quite intrigued by my result too :)

  5. Nzlg
    January 7th, 2010 @ 11:20 am

    Hehe, I love online tests.. And yep! No surprises with my results :)

  6. Dee
    January 7th, 2010 @ 8:13 pm

    Your results were really interesting, MinorityReport – thanks for sharing them!

    K, your comment was very thought-provoking. Pain doesn’t have to be part of BDSM, although it is for a lot of people (Hylas, for example, loves bondage and being restrained, but doesn’t like pain at all). Those who do like pain in their BDSM (like me) regard it as different to the pain in which you have no choice. Very few masochists would enjoy having a stubbed toe (for example) – but being able to choose to receive pain is a very different thing indeed. And the only way to find out if you like pain in the BDSM sense is to experiment. Start gently, and go from there.

    Frumious, you’re entirely welcome!

    Miss Serenity, I like reading your results :)

    Nzlg, tests are fun, aren’t they>

    xx Dee

  7. Dana
    January 11th, 2010 @ 12:34 pm

    I think the way your relationships have formed is fantastic, and how I always imagined being ideal… power balance etc developing naturally into a situation all parties are comfortable with. :)

    That is an interesting quiz. It’s pretty transparent but fairly accurate too I would think.

    I am possibly not that masochistic or into degradation (very much into CERTAIN kinds) but it’s hard to know as I have no actual experience. :(

    Switch 96%
    Bondage 89%
    Experimental 86%
    Exhibitionist / Voyeur 79%
    Sadist 71%
    Submissive 64%
    Masochist 61%
    Degradation Lover 57%
    Dominant 39%
    Vanilla 11%

  8. Dee
    January 11th, 2010 @ 2:14 pm

    It’s just nice to see ‘Experimental’ nice and high on the list – that always bodes well for kinky experiences, I think :)

    xx Dee

  9. Dana
    January 14th, 2010 @ 6:34 pm

    Ha, I think experimental is the most fun part of sex, kinky or otherwise. :)


  

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