I like my libido – I like it a lot! So I make sure I take very good care of it – I pet it and feed it and treat it well and ensure that it gets all the attention it wants. So I am very sad that it’s gone missing.
Yes, I miss my libido. It’s kept me great company for the past 11 years, although there was a whole year before that when it was AWOL. I thought I was the only one that had ever lost their libido before – until I went to Family Planning and was told by a kindly nurse that it happens to most of us at one time or another, and that it would eventually come back. Which was small consolation at the time (for me, or for my boyfriend)… but ultimately it was true.
How did I get my libido back? Through the wonders of a) internet porn, and b) masturbation. The former was a dial-up-dead-slow-totally-worth it connection, and the latter was something that I’d never figured out even though I’d been fucking for seven years at the point.
But that’s another post.
The point of this post is, my libido has disappeared again. This time, however, I at least have a reason for it packing a overnight bag and slinking out the window:
I changed my meds.
Now, I take a lot of different medications, all for good reasons, and all with doctor recommendations attached. Some are prescription, some are vitamins, and some minerals. All are supposed to assist with either depression (which is very well managed, thankfully) or migraine.
But when I last saw my doctor, six weeks ago, we fiddled with the set-up. Because, y’see, my migraine is not well-managed. Managed yes. Managed well (or, y’know, cured?), not a chance. So we did some playing around, on the basis of more recent research and trials. Dumped that med. Doubled these meds. Added those meds.
What has it achieved? Well, on a day-to-day basis, I have more energy. This is a great thing! Unfortunately, my moods are swinging, my migraine is about the same as it ever was … and my libido has gone.
Sex has still been happening. Sometimes. But wanking – well, my desire to wank is about where it was before I discovered masturbation. In other words, I don’t feel like it. I groom my pubic hair with my fingers when I get into bed at night, maybe have a scratch … and that’s it. I can count the total number of orgasms I’ve had in the last six weeks on both hands – and usually I can better than in one session!
So really, it’s not acceptable. I’m back to my doctor in 10 days, and intend to say pretty much the same. I want my horny back! (My partners seem to be missing it somewhat, too.)
If it was a toss-up between libido and migraine, I’d lose the libido to get my head working – and then work out a way of getting my libido back again. But it’s not. The Migraine O’ Doom™ remains. Only now I have one less – wonderful – distraction.
My libido is missing. Anyone wanna help me hunt for it?