So here’s something I’ve never done before – held a competition on this blog! Two, in fact – so read on, email me, and perhaps you’ll win
Why am I holding a competition? Because the other week, when Adonis and I were randomly looking through shops, we came across a very strange product – a Vampire Flopper. Yep. Weird, huh?
I’m not going to tell you what it is, because where’s the fun in that? (Google if you like, but that won’t do you much good either.) Instead, I’m taking the opportunity to give stuff away – to anyone who enters, anywhere in the world. So let’s have some fun!
What is a Vampire Flopper? Describe a Vampire Flopper in 200 words or less – or draw a picture if you’re so inclined. Wacky is encouraged, as is the entirely unrealistic. Puns, amusement at the expense of fictional vampires, amusement at the expense of me, and general weirdness are all good.
(Don’t describe what a Vampire Flopper actually is. Or rather, you can if you want, but that’s not going to win you anything!)
All entries need to be emailed to email@example.com – they will then be anonymised and given to Adonis for reading, once the competition closes. He picks the winner.
Name the vampires pictured in this post (and the show/movie they’re from).One point for each name and each show, for a maximum of 10 points. The winner is the person with the most points – or if there is a tie, drawn randomly from those with the top points.
All entries need to be emailed to firstname.lastname@example.org, where I keep track of the points and then pick the winner (because I know all the answers – they’re 5 of my favourites!)
Each winner with receive the following:
1 Vampire Flopper of their very own (!!!!).
1 silicone buttplug (either the Jewel or the Gem, as I have one of each), kindly donated by D.VICE.
1 piece of kiwiana – or vampirana! This to be determined in consultation with each winner.
1 personalised piece of sexy from me. Also to be determined in consultation with each winner. It could be a photograph, erotica, or something else entirely!
These two competitions both run for 10 days, from midday August 11th to midday August 21st NZ time. You can enter both, but you can only win one.
The winners will be announced on August 25th, NZ time, on this blog. The winning entry to competition 1 will be posted (so will all the rest!), as will the correct answers to competition 2.
The Vampire Flopper competitions are open to anyone in the world, provided they are willing to give me a postal address once they’ve won!
So what are you waiting for? Get emailing, otherwise I’ll bite you