In the shadows

Posted on | April 15, 2009 | 25 Comments |

I’ve been hiding in the shadows recently. Some of it’s been here, online – my postings have temporarily dwindled to my weekly HNT, with very little writing. But it’s been in person as well. I’ve slept a lot, done a lot of reading, done not a lot of wanking, and generally spent time at home, the cats and me.

*click*

So why am I hiding? I haven’t really thought to put a reason to it. The usual life issues continue, along with the usual life pleasures – I just have needed more time to myself (I am naturally an introvert, needing alone-time to recharge) than is generally the case.

Next month, May, will be a decade since my mother died. So it might be that. I have a strong cycle, along with a seriously resurrected period, for the first time in five years (and where did my horny go?) – it might be that. My brother Icarus‘ health continues to deteriorate, and I don’t know if he’ll make it to his 30th birthday (next January). It could be that. I’ve had my chronic migraine for coming up on 5 years – and I’ve so very tired of it. Perhaps that?

None of those things. All of those things.

*click*

So I hide in the shadows and work on gaining back some energy. And in the meantime I look after myself, and enjoy my new red nightie (as you can see in the photos), and try not to withdraw completely. I’m still here. I’m just … not as here as I’d like to be.

Give it time.

My thanks to Demeter for taking such wonderfully artistic photos.
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Comments

25 Responses to “In the shadows”

  1. vanimp
    April 15th, 2009 @ 10:33 pm

    You look beautiful even in the shadows. Warm squishy huggles for you hunni, I understand the shadow time I’ve been there for the past week. Just remember in the darkness you find light. Look forward to giving you a real huggle on Saturday xxx

  2. 13messages
    April 15th, 2009 @ 10:37 pm

    I love when you share and I certainly understand periods of introverted feelings.

    My best to you and to your brother.

    HHNT!

  3. Ms. Lily
    April 16th, 2009 @ 1:57 am

    Beautiful photos! You and you brother are in my thoughts and prayers.
    xoxo
    HHNT

  4. Beautiful Dreamer
    April 16th, 2009 @ 2:42 am

    First, you and your brother are in my prayers.
    Second, that first photo is absolutely breath taking. Truly gorgeous. HHNT!

  5. hntfor3
    April 16th, 2009 @ 4:32 am

    ((you and yours))

    I love this color red, it’s so beautiful.

    peace…

  6. marcellonyc
    April 16th, 2009 @ 4:49 am

    I tend to love my min bouts of introspectiveness.

    I always grow and emerge happy from it.

    xxoo
    HHNT

  7. Bad Bad Girl
    April 16th, 2009 @ 5:41 am

    I seem to be a little short on words lately too…. We are here when you return.

  8. te-hazazel
    April 16th, 2009 @ 5:55 am

    Oh my – LOVE the red nightie on you. Absolutely stunning. *hugs*
    Enjoy your introvert-time and don’t feel pressured to be/do anything other than what makes you comfortable.

  9. vanillaedge
    April 16th, 2009 @ 10:03 am

    I rather liked these.

    We’re thinking about you, and wishing you well.

  10. Hubman
    April 16th, 2009 @ 10:08 am

    I love the shadow effect in these pictures and you look great!

    Happy HNT!

  11. Dana
    April 16th, 2009 @ 12:01 pm

    These are just gorgeous! I love the shadowy feel!

  12. Maeve
    April 16th, 2009 @ 1:07 pm

    I hope that this hidden do you well. I know it is surely pretty on the eye the way you have capture it!
    Happy HNT!

  13. Vixen
    April 16th, 2009 @ 2:16 pm

    Probably one of my favorites of yours. *really* pretty……

  14. Laurie
    April 16th, 2009 @ 3:28 pm

    I have to say that your pictures are beautiful in the way you captured you in the shadows with the stunning red.

    Enjoy your time & life!

    *hugs*

    Laurie

  15. Southern Sage
    April 16th, 2009 @ 7:51 pm

    WOw.
    thos epics are awesomeeeeeeeee
    the top first pic is just excellent!!
    very nice.

  16. Musns
    April 16th, 2009 @ 10:06 pm

    This has to be my all-time favorite, the shadows and the red – just gorgeous doll, gorgeous.

    ((((hugs)))) Wish you weren’t so far away!

  17. Sienna
    April 16th, 2009 @ 11:00 pm

    Red is one of my favourite colours. Beautiful photos this week. Sometimes a break is great :)

  18. mina
    April 17th, 2009 @ 12:04 am

    this year marks the decade since my father’s death. *hugs* I too need alone time to recharge. I can be such the introvert. The HNT pics are beautiful.

  19. Kimberly
    April 17th, 2009 @ 3:42 am

    Beautiful photos! I hope that you get what you need from the re-charging! XO

  20. Evie
    April 17th, 2009 @ 3:53 am

    Very nice pictures, I especially like the one hiding behind the 2nd “click”. Hope you get your groove back soon.. And thanks for visiting earlier!

  21. Theresa
    April 17th, 2009 @ 7:10 am

    It’s been thirty years since my mum died, so I am definitely feeling for you.

    Hugs to you.

  22. {{ d a n i m o }}
    April 18th, 2009 @ 7:22 pm

    i’m sorry to hear you’re going through so much right now, dee. :/ my thoughts are with you and your wonderfully curvaceous, gorgeous self. *hugs* :)

  23. Amber
    April 19th, 2009 @ 2:46 pm

    Oooh, I love you in red!

  24. Kiwiana
    April 19th, 2009 @ 11:18 pm

    Beautifully written love. Thinking of you much more than you might imagine.

  25. Curvaceous Dee
    April 22nd, 2009 @ 11:54 pm

    vanimp – Your squishy huggles are wonderful!

    Beautiful Dreamer – Breathtaking? I like that.

    hntfor3 – I never used to wear red, can you believe that?

    marcello – Emerging happy is definitely the plan :)

    hazazel – It’s always nice to find a new sexy nightie. Now I can mix it up a bit!

    Maeve – The hidden me is indeed well. Thank you!

    Vixen – That’s a huge compliment, coming from you. Thank you!

    SouthernSage – awesomeeeeeeee? Yay!

    Musns – Oh honey – thank you! That’s a massive compliment.

    Sienna – Sometimes a break is necessary, I agree.

    Mina – Thinking of you about your dad. Mine died 14 years ago, so I sympathise.

    Evie – You’re most welcome! And I’m glad you liked the second click – it’s more subtle than the others.

    Theresa – *hugs back* It gets easier, except for when it doesn’t.

    danimo – Your compliments made me smile, so thank you!

    Kiwiana – Ah, but you often think of me :) And I like that!

    Hubman, Dana, Laurie – I was really pleased with how the shadowing worked out in these.

    13messages, Ms. Lily, BBG, vanillaedge, Kimberly, Amber – Thank you all for your lovely comments and compliments.

    xx to all,
    Dee


  

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