How often can you say that a relaxing massage led to a threesome? (Especially given usually a relaxing massage will lead to snoring …) Well, having recently tried out Inttimo Aromatherapy Massage and Bath Oil (Forbidden Fruit), I can! Curious, dear readers? I shall explain.
I wasn’t intending it to be about the sex. My plan was to be all romantic, relaxed, and recuperative – because it’s not always about the sex, or the sex toys. Except in my life apparently it is – can I turn anything into a sex toy, or what?
Here’s the scene. Valentine’s Day – not a day that any of my partners and I do much on. Still, I like to remind Apollo, especially, how much I love them – and what better way to remind him than to ask him to put his hands on my intimate areas and help my skin to tingle? An alternative way of describing it, of course, is to ask him to put massage oil on his hands and place his hands on my oh-so-sensitive back and make with the rubbing, buster.
Lucky for me, he likes me.
So. How to go from a massage to a threesome, in a few easy steps.
First: get your massager. Apollo is good at massaging me, although it’s more often applying the Hitachi to aching muscles than getting rubby with his fingers.
Second: get your photographer. I love to have photos with my reviews – and Demeter, who is an excellent photographer, kindly agreed to assist. Which had nothing whatsoever to do with me taking my clothes off and getting slippery, I’m sure.
Third: get your kit off. I already knew from adding a few drops to my bath that Inttimo massage oil is lovely on any skin part, but I figured that picking a particular area was probably the way to go. I chose to get my lower back rubbed – which lead to getting my upper back rubbed as well, so I wasn’t complaining!
Forth: get with the rubbing, and the photographing. Apollo discovered swiftly that the Inttimo bottle has a plastic inhibitor in the top, so it only lets out a little at a time rather than dumping the entire contents on our bedspread. This is a good thing. Still, it came out relatively easily, hence putting the bottle on the bedside table was a good idea. We also found that the oil spread easily on his hands, and easily across my skin, feeling really nice. (I wondered, vaguely, if it was going to mark the sheets, but given some time it sank into the skin and left no residue anywhere.)
Fifth: up the stakes. After rubbing my back with his hands, we decided to add my Hitachi to the mix. We were also kind of curious about how the massage oil would react to a condom. The Hitachi was excellent for increasing the massage depth, but the oil already on my skin degraded the condom very quickly (and this was an extra-protection condom, so it’s thicker than average).
Sixth: return the favour. I was feeling really good, but Apollo had been working hard and deserved some thanking. So he took off his clothes (oh no), and I poured oil on my hands and dug my thumbs into his shoulders. His glorious hair would have gotten greasy if the oil was mixed into it, so I made sure he tied it up high and kept it out of the way.
Seventh: get the photographer to a) put down the camera and b) remove all her clothes so c) we can rub our bodies on hers and show her how marvellously slippery we are. Mmmm.
Relaxing massage = threesome. A smelling-of-wildberry nice-and-slippery very-aroused threesome. I say that’s a win!
Verdict: Nice in the bath, nicer on your skin. Get yourself massaged with the stuff, and enjoy the results.
Here are the specs:
Name: Inttimo Aromatherapy Massage & Bath Oil, Forbidden Fruit flavour, by Wet
Size: 4 oz (also comes in 8oz and 2oz)
Ingredients: Sweet Almond Oil, Aroma, Caprylic Triglycerides, Aloe Vera Leaf Juice, Vitamin E, Vitamin A, Macadamia Seed Oil, Avocado Oil, Sunflower Oil, Kukui Nut Oil, tBHQ, Propylparaben, Phenoxethanol, Methylparaben, Glycerol Oleate, Essential Oils
Made in: USA
Price: $19.18 USD from SexToy.com (if you want the 8oz size)
Worthy of note: This is oil, so keep it away from condoms!
Places it feels good: In the bath, on your skin. Not on your tongue, though (it tastes kinda like chapstick).