Bondage Duckie, you’re not the one

Posted on | August 18, 2008 | 15 Comments | Previous Post Next Post

I began my quest to own a Bondage Duckie way back last December: there I was, compiling hopeful-gifting-requests (to give folks ideas in the lead-up to my birthday and the mad present-giving season), and I came across the ‘I Rub My Duckie’ range. I just had to have one – the idea of a duckie that isn’t only for play, but also for play is very damned appealing!

Luckily for me, Medea heard my pleas (especially when we visited Video Expo together and I saw the shelf full of them and made pretty squeeing noises) and presented me with my very own Bondage Duckie for my 30th birthday. She knows me well, combining my many kinky loves that way!

Opening the packaging was a treat. It was the evening of my birthday, a bunch of us were back at my place post-dinner and drinks, and here was something to play with! First the packaging had to be negotiated, but my wee duckie was eventually cut free from the confines of her plastic cocoon. Next, a small screwdriver had to be located in order to open the battery compartment (not to mention finding 2 AA batteries – but I have a large supply of those!). Finally, though, she was ready to buzz. Reading the instructions, I pressed the centre of her back firmly.

Nothing happened. We turned her over, opened the compartment, checked the batteries were in the right way around. Yes. Closed her up again. Pressed her back. Nothing again. Perhaps it was because she was on the table? I picked her up, and held her firmly while pressing her back. This time she came to life with an apparently strong vibration, and putting her back down on the table lead to howls of amusement as she stuttered her way in a circle. I mean, what better than a vibrating duck, buzzing in circles, when you’re a little, well, drunk?

So I had high hopes for the Bondage Duckie when it came to a proper bathtime tryout. Alas, I was disappointed.

For starters, while our wee duck appeared to have strong vibrations, I found that they weren’t strong enough. Being passed throughout the entire body of the toy, neither the beak, nor the tail, not the ball-gag had vibes strong enough to get me off! This was rather frustrating, to say the least. Trying something different, I turned her over and pressed the base of the toy against my groin. Alas, still no luck. I was reduced to finishing myself off with my fingers, all the while bemoaning the lack of pluck in my duck!

Never one to give up after one bath, I tried my duckie again on the next occasion – with fresh batteries, just to ensure that I hadn’t tried her out in a run-down state. But still, the vibes of my Bondage Duckie were just not enough. Very saddening. I also discovered that the waterproof seal that supposedly keeps the battery compartment watertight is not as effective as it claims – leaving batteries in my duckie later on lead to corrosion and unpleasant rust!

With the vibrations going, my duckie goes in circles!

Meet Ms. Duckie – she’s a kinky fowl and likes it that way. With her collar, tattoo and ball gag, you just know she’s reading for some naughty action.

First she goes for it with her beak … then shakes her tail feathers … and then gets right down to business!

Alas, she just can’t give me what I want – so I abandon her and finish off with my fingers instead.

Vowing revenge, Bondage Duckie joins the Duckie League of Evil and begins to plot my orgasmic downfall. What fiendish plans are brewing in that feather-brain?

Thanks to Demeter for the bathtub photographs!

Verdict: Plenty of duck, not enough pluck.

Here are the specs:
Name: I Rub my Bondage Duckie by Big Teaze Toys
Size: About 5 inches by 5 inches.
Materials: PVC
Batteries: 2x AA
Made in: Take a guess!
Price: $27.99US, $59.99NZ
Worthy of note: It looks awesome lording it over the other duckies in the bathroom!
Places it feels good: Not on my clit, alas.

4/10 Erogenous Zones

Category: Amusement, Demeter, ducks, Medea, Photos of Dee, raunchy review

Comments

15 Responses to “Bondage Duckie, you’re not the one”

RPT
August 18th, 2008 @ 7:06 pm

Have you gone quackers?

Sex with kinky ducks.

She is cute, we want one too!
W.MEANS
August 18th, 2008 @ 7:11 pm

Oh my, what a lucky squirt covered Bondage Duckie! ^_^
Curvaceous Dee
August 18th, 2008 @ 9:17 pm

RPT – you just had to say it, didn’t you? *grin*

W.Means – a very lucky duck indeed!

xx Dee
Rage
August 18th, 2008 @ 11:51 pm

I must admit it certainly is interesting to look at.
cinful
August 19th, 2008 @ 12:01 am

Ah yes, I have a ducky too. I also find that as fun as it is to play with the vibrations are more tease than fulfilment.

Still they are cute, make a nice conversation piece during a party lull, and when you have a shower-pal you can get down to some good clean foreplay with ducky as your cohort in sexual debauchery.

Up with Duckies! (Or is that Get Down With Duckies?)

::grin::
Curvaceous Dee
August 19th, 2008 @ 2:02 am

Rage, I’m glad you were interested!

Cinful, your phrase ‘ducky as your cohort in sexual debauchery’ amused me mightily. And I’m glad I’m not the only one who finds the vibes teasing rather than orgasmic

xx Dee
vixen
August 19th, 2008 @ 4:35 am

Aww what a cute duckie I want one! x
Deliciously
August 20th, 2008 @ 4:42 am

oh my god, I WANT one
Curvaceous Dee
August 20th, 2008 @ 8:38 am

*chuckles* Vixen and Deliciously, it sounds like there will be Duckies taking over the world at this rate!

xx Dee
DBD
August 21st, 2008 @ 1:49 am

I saw the review in Eden, but this is much more entertaining!
Ashbury
August 21st, 2008 @ 4:27 am

I actually saw one of those but I can’t remember if it was online or at some sex store..Great blog by the way!
Ashbury
August 21st, 2008 @ 4:28 am

I actually saw one but not sure where? Maybe online or at some sex store. Or it could be a novelty store called Spencers. Great blog by the way!
Curvaceous Dee
August 21st, 2008 @ 9:01 am

I really like to add to my reviews here, DBD, and put in photos. There’s only so much I can do over on the EF site – and this is my blog, after all!

Ashbury, I’m glad you like the blog. And these duckies are all over the place

xx Dee
~c
August 27th, 2008 @ 5:33 pm

Hmmmmm, i’ve seen those, never bought one,,…

Every girl needs a rubber duckie!

~c
Curvaceous Dee
August 28th, 2008 @ 12:23 am

You’re absolutely right, ~c – every girl (and every guy too, if I have my way) needs a rubber duckie

xx Dee

About Dee

Exhibitionist with words, skin and sex. Free with kisses, compliments, and friendship. Open with heart, passion, and laughter.
Labels I choose for myself: pansexual, polyamorous, fat, kinky, New Zealander, writer.
You can keep my partners and close friends not-mixed-up by reading more about them here.
I write fortnightly for GLBTI magazine Express, for whom I am also the sub-editor. I also write upon occasion for other publications!
If you want to get in touch, send me an email: curvaceous.dee@gmail.com.