Eclipse of the Heart

Posted on | August 14, 2008 | 34 Comments |

If you turn your back to me, eventually I will also turn my back to you.

I will curl forward and hug myself, exposing my spine even as I know it makes me vulnerable.

But you’ve seen me vulnerable before, and never caused harm. Until now. And it hurts all the more for not being deliberate. For being thoughtless. Why did you not realise I was worthy of being thought about?

I feel the deep gashes that being discarded, thrown away, and used have caused. They’re not a pleasant pain – they hurt all the way through my rib cage to the other side.

So I show you my back, as you have shown me yours. And others will stroke it and pet it and smooth my skin, giving me the love and affection I deserve.

I am strong enough to stand alone, but I don’t have to, and I don’t want to. Still, you no longer stand with me. So I show you my back.

HNTbutton

The first picture was taken by Apollo; the second by Demeter. And they express what I want to show very well indeed.

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Category: Apollo, break-ups, Demeter, Dionysos, hnt, Photos of Dee, polyamory

Comments

34 Responses to “Eclipse of the Heart”

  1. Lilly
    August 14th, 2008 @ 3:04 am

    *hugs* to you, I’m sorry to hear of your heartbreak…

    HHNT

  2. vixen
    August 14th, 2008 @ 3:22 am

    Beautiful pictures and they say it all so well *uber squishy hugs for you* mwah x

  3. PantheraPardus
    August 14th, 2008 @ 3:28 am

    Like I said earlier: your words and your images are always beautiful. *hug*

    and remember what we discussed…we Americans are just plain nuts. ;)

  4. Ms. Lily
    August 14th, 2008 @ 3:54 am

    Sorry for your pain. Lovely photos,the lack of color is very fitting with you words.
    XOXOXO
    ~Lily

  5. Jessica
    August 14th, 2008 @ 4:00 am

    I’d say Happy HNT, but I know it’s hard to muster happiness through heartache. It hurts like hell for awhile, then one day you wake up and it hurts a little less and gradually you find your smiles again. Hugs and Squeezes.

  6. Bad Bad Girl
    August 14th, 2008 @ 4:13 am

    I feel your words, and your pictures are beautiful.

  7. I Smile 2 Much
    August 14th, 2008 @ 4:48 am

    So vunerable yet *so* beautiful. (((Many, many sweet hugs to you))

    *muah*

  8. Ms. Inconspicuous
    August 14th, 2008 @ 5:40 am

    I don’t think I’ve ever noticed your tattoo before…

    These are lovely pictures and lovely words. You bare so well–not just in skin, but in soul. Thank you for that.

  9. having my cake
    August 14th, 2008 @ 9:54 am

    When you have given a person your heart, it is amazing how heartless they can become. Big hug, lovely tattoo x

  10. Kiwiana
    August 14th, 2008 @ 10:38 am

    I hate to see you hurting hon. Big hugs.
    K

  11. An Artist Exposed
    August 14th, 2008 @ 11:06 am

    Very beautiful and moving photos.

  12. Lapis Ruber
    August 14th, 2008 @ 12:29 pm

    Pictures somehow full of emotion – a hard thing to bring off but you have done it wonderfully well. Happy HNT.

  13. raven
    August 14th, 2008 @ 2:34 pm

    The first photo is absolutely gorgeous – pure art. But then to read the post only adds to its beauty. I’m sorry that they came from such a bad place. They are beautiful

  14. longingsend
    August 14th, 2008 @ 2:45 pm

    I really love the first photo… it is so expressive. *hugs* I am sorry you have been hurt.

    xoxoxo mina

  15. anna louise
    August 14th, 2008 @ 2:45 pm

    What a beautiful back you have HHNT
    Hugs to your heart

  16. MarcelloNYC
    August 14th, 2008 @ 2:53 pm

    ((((Hugs)))))

    HHNT!

    if you need to vent. IM me at marcello219nyc gtalk

  17. Blissfully Wed
    August 14th, 2008 @ 3:17 pm

    Wonderfully shared. My best to you.

    HHNT!

  18. ~Viemoira~
    August 14th, 2008 @ 3:18 pm

    My thoughts are with you Dee- beautifully written and glad you could get out your feelings in such a way!
    Big Hugs!
    ~viemoira

  19. Ro
    August 14th, 2008 @ 5:25 pm

    Oh poo … that really is sad. So how come the pictures are so beautiful? The harsh contrasts of the black and white is perfect this week …

    The best of luck to you, Dee … and I hope you still manage to have a happy HNT.

  20. Luka
    August 14th, 2008 @ 8:07 pm

    Some people can be nobs.

    I would stroke your back, feed you delcious chocolatey treats and bathe you in wine until you felt better, if I could.

    xxx

  21. Amorous Rocker
    August 14th, 2008 @ 9:49 pm

    You look lovely.

    People suck. I’m sorry you’re hurting. Feeling used and discarded is a terrible feeling and downright wrong to do to someone. ((BIG HUGS))

  22. Curvaceous Dee
    August 14th, 2008 @ 10:43 pm

    Lilly – thank you for your hugs, hon. They are appreciated.

    Vixen – I get uber squishy hugs? They’re the best kind!

    Panthera – You’re definitely nuts. But adorable nonetheless :)

    Ms. Lily – thank you. Yes, the greytones seemed to fit.

    Jessica – thank you so much for your kind words, and for the hugs and squeezes!

    Bad Bad Girl – thank you, sweetheart.

    IS2M – hugs are good, and much appreciated!

    Ms. Inconspicuous – you’re welcome. I generally don’t hide my soul, but it’s rare that it feels so vulnerable.

    Cake – how very true. He’s treated it well for seven years of friendship and three years or so of more-than-friendship … but now I wonder.

    Kiwiana – your hugs on the couch were just what I needed!

    Artist – thank you! From you that’s a big compliment, and I appreciate it :)

    Lapis – *smile* Your comment made me happy, so thank you.

    Raven – thank you, dear. Interestingly, the pictures themselves were taken during a fantastic encounter. But the emotion they convey fitted very well with how I am feeling now.

    Mina – *hugs back* Thank you.

    Anna Louise – my heart thanks you.

    Marcello – most of my venting is out of the way now, but it would be great to chat sometime – thank you!

    Blissful – thank you darlin’ :)

    Viemoira – lovely comment, and much appreciated hon.

    Ro – I’m glad the contrasts worked. And yes, I’ve enjoyed most of the rest of the HNTers!

    Luka – stroking, chocolate, wine, and the company of you? That sounds like a marvellous idea :)

    Amorous Rocker – thank you for your sweet comment. I really appreciate it!

    xx to all, Dee

  23. Maeve
    August 14th, 2008 @ 11:24 pm

    Dee, it was not really nice of them! But I do like the sense of abandon that the pictures show!

  24. Honey
    August 14th, 2008 @ 11:55 pm

    {{HUGS}} Beautiful pictures as always! HHNT!

  25. Rage
    August 15th, 2008 @ 12:48 am

    Sweet, sad, and yet sexy all at the same time.

    Sorry for you pain.

  26. .ser infiel.
    August 15th, 2008 @ 1:30 am

    This post reminds me of so much of my life, so many of my heartaches. It is beautifully written and you are beautiful. :hugs:

  27. Baby
    August 15th, 2008 @ 3:39 am

    The photos are gorgeous – and they convey the sadness of your post – ((HUGS)) – I hope that tomorrow is a better day – with some sunshine :) Happy HNT

  28. Little Witch
    August 15th, 2008 @ 8:23 am

    The photos are very poignant, they show how you are feeling, a half naked soul. Some men need to learn Newtons theory – for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction and it applies to people as well. lots of love and hugs.

  29. Curvaceous Dee
    August 15th, 2008 @ 10:37 am

    Maeve – thank you for your lovely comment, and compliment.

    Honey – *hugs back* Thank you!

    Rage – As long as I don’t lose the sexy, we’re all good :)

    Ser Infiel – Thank you for your lovely words. I really appreciated them! *hug*

    Baby – Friday was a fantastic day! Not so much sunshine outside, but plenty being provided by folk who love me :)

    Little Witch – Speaking of folk who love me … thank you, sweetheart, for being the wonderful woman you are! *smooches*

    xx Dee

  30. Musns
    August 15th, 2008 @ 5:04 pm

    I love the first picture the most, there is a hint, from the way your hair falls, that your head is down – as in sorrow.

    Lots of hugs…and this time I wish I were closer so I could *really* hug you.

  31. Gillette
    August 15th, 2008 @ 6:16 pm

    Sending hugs your way…you sound so sad.

    I so appreciate and honor how strong you are in your willingness to be vulnerable.

  32. Curvaceous Dee
    August 16th, 2008 @ 12:57 am

    Musns – thank you so much, my dear! Darn those pesky expensive airline journeys!

    Gillette – Thank you for your hugs, as well as your wonderful words. I really do appreciate them :)

    xx Dee

  33. Mariposa
    August 16th, 2008 @ 4:28 am

    Sending happy thoughts…HUGS!

    HappyHNT lovely!

  34. Curvaceous Dee
    August 17th, 2008 @ 12:54 am

    Mariposa – thank you sweetheart! *hugs back*

    xx Dee

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