I went to the Erotica Expo for many reasons, and looking at toys was one of them. And I took cash because I knew that undoubtedly there would be some toy there that I would just have to own, and it was simpler to pull money out of my pocket or cleavage than it was to fumble out my credit card and watch them zap it and hold onto the receipt and then have to remember to tell Apollo what that strange charge was for, and oh yes, did he want to try it out with me?
(Of course, I’d offer to try it out with him anyway, but who wants to look at odd credit card charges amongst the phone bill payment and the power bill payment and the groceries?)
Not surprisingly, there was a toy that I wanted to own. I just didn’t know I wanted to own it when I first looked at it. It was hanging there on the wall amongst so many other vibrators and dildos and funny animal-topped toys, and it was the shape that caught my attention. Because it looked like someone has smoothed off one side with a thumb pad, and then pinched the other side to a sharp tip. The latest in modern sculpture? Not quite. The G Art.
So Adonis and I were looking at this toy on the wall, being a little perplexed and amused by it, when one of the sales people came up to us. Unlike most of the show bunnies, she wasn’t tall and lissome and showing a lot of breast – she was short and a not a little butch and looked exceedingly competent. Which didn’t change, despite her grabbing the toy down off the wall and raving at us. Apparently it was absolutely the shit when it came to getting you and your lover off, and it’d changed her and her partner’s life and we absolutely had to buy it. Oh, and it was guaranteed water-proof and I’d get a three-month warranty. And a discount.
How could I say no? Especially when there was a spa-pool just waiting for me to test that water-proof theory.
Did it work? Did it what! Adonis and I were a little sloshed and extremely horny by the time we made it to the spa pool, but the G Art certainly added to the fun times. We never did get around to trying it out on him, but as for me, I squirmed when the ‘concave stimulator’ (that’s the flat bit) was applied to my clit, squealed and pressed down when the ‘point stimulator’ (the pointy bit) was applied to my rosebud, and generally came a lot between the intense vibrations it was providing combined with all the other wonderful things Adonis was doing to me. A fun toy for two!
Since then, I’ve tried adding it to my masturbation routine, but it just doesn’t have the same kick. The vibes don’t seem as strong (possibly because I’m not underwater?), and, when I tried inserting it to see if I liked it as an interior toy, I found the pointy bit more than a little uncomfortable, and reminiscent of visiting the gynaecologist. It’s good for giving a little gentle vibration at the start of my build-up, but for pushing me over the edge solo, it just didn’t work.
Verdict: A fantastic toy for two. Not so hot for one. Definitely waterproof. I’ll be keeping it.
G Art Specs
Name: such a silly name! It’s called the G Art, which doesn’t mean a damn thing, and frankly it works better for body parts other than the g-spot (for me, at least)
Size: It’s 7.5 inches, or 19cm, tall. Around it’s not too big, up to about 3cm in places.
Batteries: It takes 2 AA batteries, and gives scarily extensive instructions (in six languages) on how to correctly insert them.
Materials: It doesn’t say. *sigh* Although it assures the purchaser that it is non-toxic, and it doesn’t feel jelly-like (or smell hinky). Good signs.
Made in: China. Where that majority of ‘adult novelties’ are born, it seems.
Price: In New Zealand dollars, it was originally $79, on special at $55, and I picked it up for $50. Yay for discounts!
Worthy of note: Marketed as waterproof, it has one of those seals that keep the battery area safe and secure. It has a wheel to control the vibrate speed.
Places it feels good: Theoretically the g-spot. In actuality, the clit and the entry to the arse.
See all my other reviews here!